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Writing Samples
Band 7

Parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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 it is undeniable that effective parenting plays a crucial role in a
child
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's development and well-being, the notion of mandating
parents
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 to attend annual parenting
courses
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 is a contentious issue that warrants careful consideration. From my perspective, I firmly disagree with the imposition of
such
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 a requirement
due to
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 several reasons.
Firstly
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, imposing mandatory parenting
courses
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 fails to account for the diverse circumstances and needs of
families
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. Every family is unique, with its own set of challenges, resources, and values. What may be beneficial for one family could be impractical or irrelevant for another.
For instance
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, low-income
families
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 may struggle to afford the associated costs of these
courses
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,
further
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 exacerbating financial strain.
Additionally
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,
families
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 from culturally diverse backgrounds may find that the content of these
courses
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 does not align with their cultural beliefs and practices, rendering them ineffective or even counterproductive.
Furthermore
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, the effectiveness of parenting
courses
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 in promoting positive outcomes for
children
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 is questionable.
While
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 well-designed and accessible parenting
support
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 programs can provide valuable guidance and resources, mandating annual attendance overlooks the complex nature of parenting and
child
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 development. True nurturing and effective parenting go beyond mere adherence to a standardized curriculum; they require genuine engagement, empathy, and understanding of the
child
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's individual needs and personality.
This
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 cannot be achieved through compulsory
courses
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 but rather through ongoing dialogue, reflection, and adaptation to the evolving needs of the
child
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.
Moreover
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, the imposition of mandatory parenting
courses
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 raises concerns about governmental overreach and infringement on parental autonomy.
While
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 the government has a responsibility to
support
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families
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 and safeguard the welfare of
children
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, coercive measures
such
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 as mandatory attendance requirements may undermine trust and cooperation between policymakers and
parents
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.
Instead
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 of dictating how
parents
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 should raise their
children
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, policymakers should focus on providing accessible resources,
support
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 networks, and educational opportunities that empower
parents
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 to make informed decisions based on their unique circumstances and values. In conclusion,
while
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 the intention behind mandating parenting
courses
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 may be well-meaning, the practical implications and ethical considerations cannot be overlooked. Rather than imposing rigid requirements on
parents
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, policymakers should adopt a more nuanced and inclusive approach that respects the autonomy and diversity of
families
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. By fostering collaboration, flexibility, and mutual
support
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, we can create a nurturing environment where all
children
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 have the opportunity to thrive and reach their full potential.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded response to the prompt. You have clearly stated your position and supported it with numerous arguments. However, adding more specific examples and data could enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear transitions between paragraphs. To improve cohesion further, consider using more linking phrases to connect your ideas even more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are well-supported, providing more distinct examples or evidence from research would strengthen your argument. Always aim to link each supporting detail directly back to the task response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively framed, offering a clear stance and summarizing the key points of your argument.
task achievement
You have presented comprehensive ideas with clear reasoning, which is essential for a strong task response.
task achievement
The essay shows a good balance in addressing the prompt, considering multiple aspects and implications of the issue.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Developmental Milestones
  • Nurturing
  • Parent-child Rapport
  • Non-violent Discipline
  • Child Welfare
  • Empathy
  • Cognitive Growth
  • Pedagogical Support
  • Resilience
  • Socioeconomics
  • Family Dynamics
  • Adolescent Psychology
  • Behavioral Patterns
  • Proactive Parenting
  • Contemporary Issues
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