As parents, they should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Whether parents should participate in annual parenting lessons in order to raise their children properly and create a healthy environment for them to grow or not is being disputed. The writer of
this
essay agrees with this
notion as those courses can help strengthen the bond between family members and inform newly-wed couples about essential skills.
There can be no doubt how taking part in courses specified for parents offers various methods to approach their spouses. In other words
, because the majority of households have a large age gap in between, it is difficult for a child to communicate their feelings and thoughts which can lead to depression and family issues. However
, by attending parenting courses, caregivers can learn how to convey those emotions and try to understand them which results in better understanding and reduces the tension in the family. Take Japan as a prime example where 70% of parents participate in pre-birth programmes, this
has made the country ranked first in children satisfaction rate for over five years since 2019.
Another reason as to
why it is essential for guardians to attend classes is that those provide them with knowledge about parenthood before giving birth. To simplify, with preparation, caregivers can gain deeper insights into children's basic needs and can deal with them when encountering obstacles in life. Change preposition
apply
Consequently
, this
results in an efficient teaching style throughout the year and contributes to a better society where younger individuals can freely express their feelings.
In conclusion, the writer of this
essay fully subscribes to this
notion due to
stronger bonds and the knowledge that guardians need to know before giving birth is enormous.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is excellent. However, you might want to expand it slightly by briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This can provide better guidance for your reader.
coherence
To enhance coherence and create a smoother flow, consider using more transition words and phrases between your points. This helps to guide your reader through your arguments seamlessly.
examples
Ensure your examples are directly linked to the points you're making. While the Japanese example is relevant and effective, you might want to add another example to support your second point, possibly from a different cultural or geographical context.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with a strong introduction, main points discussed in separate paragraphs, and a concluding statement. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.
example
You provided a solid example with the case of Japan, which effectively supports your argument about the benefits of parenting courses.
language
The use of varied vocabulary and sentence structures helps to keep the reader engaged and demonstrates your command of the English language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.