IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

Some people think books are lossing their importance in information and entertainment purposes.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #books #importance #information #entertainment #purposes
Although
 books are a great
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
show examples
 of knowledge and amusement, few individuals argue that the importance of books is decreasing day by day. I strongly agree with
this
 statement because of several reasons namely the internet and different technological gadgets.
Firstly
, the easy accessibility of the internet is creating distances between books and people.
This
simply
Add a missing verb
is simply
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 because, in the present time, almost everyone in the world has access to the internet, which humans are using not only for learning but
also
 for enjoyment.
Due to
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

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task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific ways the internet and technology provide information and entertainment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you provide a clear conclusion to summarize your essay. This will help in providing a complete response and improving overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Continue developing your paragraphs fully to enhance comprehension. This includes finishing incomplete thoughts and elaborating on points made.
task achievement
The essay has a clear position and provides valid reasons to support it, which is essential for Task Achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic and the writer's stance clearly, setting a good context for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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