It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

#process #species #reason #people

A number of

animals

are on the edge of dying out in the

wild life

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

Although

it is widely said that preservative measurements should not be applied to avoid the extinction rate, I strongly believe that

animals

must be strictly conserved in light of their values in ecology. Loss of biodiversity and ecological imbalance will happen if a wide range of

animals

are no longer extant.

This

means that the disappearance of one

species

has a knock-on effect on all

animals

interconnected in the natural food chain.

As a result

, the mass die-off of

species

could occur in the near future.

Moreover

this

problem could lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

shortage of valuable resources for medical and scientific research. To illustrate

this

point, take centipedes as a prime example which is one of the most effective insects contributing to

cure

Change the verb form

curing

show examples

serious diseases. If the number of these insects gradually decreases, people

could

Verb problem

will

show examples

not get access to these useful drugs anymore.

Besides

, measurements and solutions should be provided to reduce the impact caused by humans. It can be observed that mass deforestation to build infrastructure and timber harvesting has cost wild

animals

living habitats.

Therefore

, imposing a ban on these immoral activities is constantly indispensable and largely appreciated by communities. In consequence, it could enhance humans' self-awareness,

as well as

show empathy for animal

species

. New generations,

hence

, will follow and show the same respect to the wildlife.

To sum up

, animal

species

must be strictly saved to avoid the increasing number of extinction. Simultaneously, regulations and measurements should be imposed in order to control

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans’

Fix the agreement mistake

human’

show examples

exploiting

Replace the word

exploitation

show examples

activities.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu May 23 2024

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task achievement

Your essay clearly presents a response to the prompt, but some ideas need more development and examples for stronger support.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between your main points. Use linking phrases and words more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your argument well.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt convincingly, with a clear statement of your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Every culture, throughout time, has recorded its history in one way or another. In what ways can history be passed on to the next generation? Why is history important to society?

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Humans in more countries spend more and more time far away from their families. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

with increase in global tourism it has become obvious that there are many advantages and disadvantages that can be found from the effects of tourism. do you believe advantages outweigh disadvantages?