In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
first thing first before we give an opinion we have to know the current
condition
of the city
and the cities around it and also
the economical
Replace the word
economic
condition
in it and how populated it is
and if Correct your spelling
the
teh
Correct your spelling
the
condition
like Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
Change the capitalization
Jakarta
jakarta
or Change the capitalization
Jakarta
new york
it is better to Correct your spelling
New York
spent
money on improving the existing public transport because all the Wrong verb form
spend
Correct your spelling
economical
econimical related
things Correct word choice
economic
Correct your spelling
happened
happended
in the Correct your spelling
happened
city
and most of the citizen
does't
need to go outside the Correct your spelling
doesn't
city
but for
my personal Change the preposition
in
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
i
would rather choose to Change the capitalization
I
spent
large sums of money on Change the verb
spend
constucting
new Correct your spelling
constructing
railways
lines for very fast trains between cities than
spent money on improving existing public Fix the agreement mistake
railway
tranport
you may ask why?
because Correct your spelling
transport
of
there Change preposition
apply
was
very fast trains between cities like in Change the verb form
were
Add a comma
japan,
japan
there will be no Capitalize word
Japan
city
left behind economicliy
Correct your spelling
economically
nor
Correct word choice
or
agricultury
. Correct your spelling
agriculture
this
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
happend
because there was a Correct your spelling
happened
Correct your spelling
transportation
transportaion
that Correct your spelling
transportation
connect
one Wrong verb form
connected
city
to another
soo workers
won't only Correct your spelling
focused
focesed
to worked Correct your spelling
focus
form
departments in the Correct your spelling
from
city
but also
from other
Change the wording
another city
other cities
city
this
leads too
balanced Correct your spelling
to
economy
Replace the word
economic
condition
all around the country because Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
workers
Correct your spelling
spread
Add a missing verb
are spreaded
spreaded
evenly all around the country
Correct your spelling
spread
this
goes same
for building materials, Correct article usage
the same
food
,and other and each city
could improve on there
own specific choice like Correct pronoun usage
its
on
Correct your spelling
one
city
focesed
on farming and other focused on housing and other only for offices they could keep
standing by trading like the Correct your spelling
focused
city
that focused in
housing need Change preposition
on
food
than
the Replace the word
then
city
that focused on farming sends food
to that other city
that needs food
and if the city
Correct your spelling
that
taht
focused Correct your spelling
that
in
farming Change preposition
on
need
more Wrong verb form
needed
workers
they just could ask that they need more workers
to
the Change preposition
for
city
that focused on offices or in
the Change preposition
apply
city
that focused on housingSubmitted by igbalalfariezy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction that outlines the topic and introduces the views being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and your final opinion to provide a satisfying end to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea and that there are smooth transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to use more complex and varied sentence structures to show your range in writing.
task achievement
Addressing counterarguments more explicitly can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You can improve clarity by avoiding run-on sentences and breaking them into shorter, more manageable ones.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your argument, such as fast trains in Japan improving economic conditions.
task achievement
You considered both perspectives in your discussion, which fulfills the requirements of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!