In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing, Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society

In today’s world, it appears that the increasing number of the elderly meets controversial opinions from different

people

. Some agree that

this

trend

offers benefits

while

others argue that there may include many drawbacks to society. From my perspective,

this

issue has both sides that need consideration.

To begin

with, several upsides can be seen when there are more and more old

people

in many countries. First and foremost, in terms of careers, older workers may have more opportunities to pursue their dreams with their long-term experience. Unlike when they were young, naive and struggling to earn a living without thinking of chasing their dream jobs, the elderly can be promoted and have enough money to start up or do what they hardly did before with ease.

Secondly

, regarding exploration, the retired can have more chances to explore some places in the world that they have never experienced.

In other words

, the period when they enjoy every moment of their lives can be prolonged.

Thus

, it can be seen that there are many positive aspects of

this

trend

On the other hand

This

issue

also

poses some threads to both residents and governments. One of the main problems is

also

about occupations. To make it clear,

this

trend

enhances the elderly’s opportunities and closes the window of the young simultaneously. It is impossible for the ones who have just stepped out of the gate of university to have an equal chance as the old

people

. Another challenge is related to governments. That the number of old

people

is increasing means the fees for health services

also

rose as there are many risks of certain illnesses to the old

people

. Nursing homes are

also

necessary

due to

the lack of those who can take care of the elderly.

This

affects directly the income of a nation

as well as

the quality of life all over the world. In conclusion,

while

this

trend

presents some advantages including careers and travelling, it

also

offers disadvantages

such

as fewer opportunities for the young and health services.

Therefore

, it is vital to take advantage of its benefits and consider its potential consequences.

Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on Sun Jun 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing. This can help in providing a clearer picture to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next. You can use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

You have given a balanced view on the topic and discussed both positive and negative aspects of the increasing number of elderly people.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The logical structure is evident and easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.
I'm not on the same page with the above suggestion. Making a ban on cigarettes all over the world, because experience has illustrated that this action can increase the amount of cigarette smuggling.
4.5
band
You carried out an emergency maintenance on a key system and this resulted in an issue with the system Write a letter to the head of your data team. In your letter: - Provide an update on what happened - Explain what you're going to do about it - Say what you would like to him to do
I am writing this letter to inform you the incident that occured last night around 7:30pm . By that time , I was still in the office preparing my powerpoint for tomorrow seminar , I received a telephone call from the warehouse supervisor. He mentioned the situation that there was an error in the key system because of that the alarm went off to the police department straight away whenever they tried to shut the main gate .
6
band
Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, people have new forms of interaction throughout social media and network platforms, which decrease the number of hours spent seeing their friends. This negatively affects their social life. I strongly disagree with this suggestion because of the easy way of communicating that is given as technology progresses. This essay will first discuss how social media negatively impacts our lives and then discuss what possibilities it might have.
5
band
You agreed to take a particular job over the summer, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you can no longer take the position. Write a letter including: - Explaining your situation - An apology - Express that you would be interested in the position next summer
Dear Manager, I am writing this letter to express my gratitude for providing me with the opportunity. But unfortunately, Because of some reason, I might be not able to join for this role.Firstly I was very excited to join your team and taking this exciting role for this summer. Moreover, thought of this might be helpful for me as a financial support for paying my tuition fees at the university. But due to multiple reasons I will be failing to do so. Primarily my grand father is undergoing a surgery in the early of this summer. which will require for him atleast 3 to 4 months for recovery. Therefore as per the suggestion of the doctor, the patient should be supervised for all 24 hours a day. So, it is my primary duty to give my full support.I hope you consider my request and accept my apologies. I will be very happy if you consider me for the same role in the coming summer.Hope to hear from you soonYours sincerelyTarun
8.5
band
You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events’ organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser •expressing your interest in the role •requesting more information about it •explaining what experience you have
Dear Sir or Madam ,

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing, Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

You carried out an emergency maintenance on a key system and this resulted in an issue with the system Write a letter to the head of your data team. In your letter: - Provide an update on what happened - Explain what you're going to do about it - Say what you would like to him to do

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

You agreed to take a particular job over the summer, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you can no longer take the position. Write a letter including: - Explaining your situation - An apology - Express that you would be interested in the position next summer