Some people think that development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A group of individuals claim that some improvements in terms of technology assist in declining the figures of criminality. Other people contend that it could be

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhanced

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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.From my point of view, modern technological devices have diminished the percentage of crime situations over the past decades. First of all, it is undeniable that, in the contemporary world, technology has seen

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

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positive evolution.

Also

Linking Words

, it significantly

influenced

Wrong verb form

influences

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every situation in our lives.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

approach, several devices were discovered that play a key role in determining all crimes and

thiefs

Correct your spelling

thefts

immediately.

For instance

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, it is noticeable that, approximately everywhere, you can see cameras that are controlled by professional IT specialists. The primary reason for

that is

Linking Words

to solve all crime situations thanks to them.From my perspective, it can be considered beneficial and safe for our society.

Secondly

Linking Words

, in the 21st century, scammers don't make an effort to commit crimes in real life. More precisely, they try to implement it through online websites.

For example

Linking Words

, they are making an attempt to steal someone's personal details and utilizing them to receive money from the bank. The exact name is cyberattack, which is popular nowadays with unbelievably many accidents. The exact purpose of them is to destroy people's data and create some

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

in their lives.

Moreover

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, it may be regarded as the main drawback of the advancement of technology.

Nevertheless

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, being careful, I hope no one will witness situations like that.

To sum up

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, I reckon that technological growth is advantageous for our community in terms of lowering the proportion of criminality.

However

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, we can see some cyberattacks on our bank accounts or personal information.

Therefore

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, we should always take precautions before facing these accidents.

Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on Thu May 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on clearly defining each paragraph's main point and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. This will help in maintaining a logical flow.

task achievement

Elaborate more on the examples and explain their relevance to your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. This will increase your overall clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion nicely.

task achievement

The topic is addressed from both perspectives, providing a balanced view.

task achievement

The essay touches upon important issues like cyberattacks and the role of technology in reducing crime.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Some people think that development of technology helps to reduce crime, while others think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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