IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You see an advertisement for a product. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Tell your friend where you saw the advertisement Describe the product Explain why your friend should buy this product.

#advertisement #product #friend
Dear Amy, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am incredibly sorry not to have been in touch recently. Life has been a little bit hectic. I am writing
this
 letter to recommend a
blender
 for you. I saw the advertisement which promotes the ABC
blender
 several times when I scrolled on my Facebook.
This
 advertisement talks about the features and instructions of
this
 product. Every time when I
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
this
 product, I always think about you and would like to send the link to you.
This
blender
 is an Australian brand and
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
 in Melbourne. It is made of glass and stainless materials, which is easy to clean after
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
. There are several functions of
this
blender
. First of all, it can be used to make shaved ice and ice creams, which
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 you the opportunity to enjoy homemade healthy desserts in the summer.
In addition
, you can use it to mix vegetables and fruits to make smoothies, which is a good meal to have when you are losing
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
weight. I consider
this
 machine
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
extremely suitable for you as you mentioned that you desperately needed a mixer or
blender
 to make healthy food at home. Added to that, I reckon the price is affordable for you. I hope my suggestions are useful for you. Keep in touch. Best wishes, Bella
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

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tone
Try to maintain a consistent tone throughout the letter. While your opening is conversational, the latter part of the letter becomes a bit more formal. Aim for consistency to keep the reader engaged.
structure
Although the letter is well-structured, consider adding a brief introductory sentence about the advertisement before diving into its description. This will improve the logical flow between paragraphs.
tone
You used a friendly and engaging tone, which is very suitable for a letter to a friend.
task response
The letter is comprehensive and addresses all the points in the task, providing sufficient details about where you saw the advertisement, a description of the product, and reasons why your friend should buy it.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph represents a single idea, making your letter easy to follow.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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