Some people think that zoos are crucial and all zoos should be closed. However, others think zoos are useful to protect the rare animals.

#people #zoos #animals

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It is said that

zoos

are beneficial for keeping endangered species,

whereas

others, including me, believe that

zoos

should be closed because they are inhumane. In

this

essay, the ideas for the

extinction

of endangered species and violent action against

animals

will be discussed. Given the

extinction

of some

animals

, advocates argue that

animals

should be protected in

zoos

This

mean

Replace the word

means

show examples

zoos

should take responsibility for protecting them as

animals

are disappearing

due to

climate change and human activities

such

as construction and deforestation.

Therefore

although

fauna

belong

Change the verb form

belongs

show examples

to the environment and can live in their habitats,

zoos

are sanctuaries for them that

product

Correct your spelling

protect

show examples

them from unforeseen circumstances, including storms, and droughts.

For example

, the

extinction

of the polar bear, Finland has created artificial

zoos

to partially prevent their

extinction

and increase their reproduction rate.

Thus

zoos

not only

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

avoid the

extinction

of some

animals

but

also

may

Verb problem

apply

show examples

help them survive. opponents,

however

, put forward that keeping

animals

in cages is an act of violence because the

animals

might get involved in captivity-induced health issues,

such

as depression, anxiety, and overweight. Given the fact that

zoos

cannot provide

animals

with precise ecosystems,

such

as a vast sky for birds to fly, or an infinite ocean, there is no need to preserve

animals

for them.

For example

, eagles may fly more than 400 km during the day,

while

they are unable to do so in

zoos

therefore

, keeping

animals

in cages is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unethical

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

against them In conclusion,

although

some believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

preserving

animals

zoos

could be beneficial for them in terms of reducing the risk of

animal's

Change noun form

animal

show examples

extinction

, I would argue that

due to

inevitable consequences for

animals

, all

zoos

should be closed.

Submitted by hongminh317 on Thu May 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all main points are expanded and supported with relevant examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Revise the use of transition words and phrases to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph contains a clear central idea and that the ideas are linked effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and sets up the argument effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion is strong and summarizes the main points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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Some people think that zoos are crucial and all zoos should be closed. However, others think zoos are useful to protect the rare animals.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?