IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

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It
is widely believe
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is widely believed
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 that the majority of
people
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 prefer to learn work duties from experienced
people
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,
while
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 others want to learn
by
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through
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 university
education
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 in
academic
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an academic
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 way.
This
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 is an unpredictable debate as some
people
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 firmly support their arguments,
while
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 others adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both
of
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apply
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sides which are
waste
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a waste
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 of time and
importance
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the importance
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 of
education
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.
To begin
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 with, supporters of
this
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 matter claim that
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
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 style of work from university is
waste
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a waste
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 of time for many jobs, especially
unqualifies
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unqualified
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.
In other words
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, they can learn easily from their
employers'
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employers
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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short-term
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short term
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 because they don't need to have
a
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apply
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special requirements. Another key point of
this
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perspectives
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perspective
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 is experience.
Thus
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, experience plays a significant role in
this
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 issue
that
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and
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 it is more important than academic background for some jobs
such
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 as gardening.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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 matter emphasize that
education
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 is a bedrock of society.
Therefore
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, university students dedicate their self to
learn
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learning
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academical
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academic
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 studies and
develop
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developing
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 new
thesies
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theories
thesis
.
Meaning
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This means
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 that
,
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apply
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 the fundamental target of
education
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centers
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centres
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 find
solution
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solutions
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 for main problems particularly science and medical subjects.
This
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 is a very convincing argument depending on
fact
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the fact
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 that
innivation
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innovation
 and regulation
about
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of
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education
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leads
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lead
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 to
development
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the development
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 level of the country.
As a result
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, every person should take qualified
education
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 even if they will work as
a
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an
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 electricians or plumbers. In
conclution
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conclusion
,
people
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 have
a totally different perspectives
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a totally different perspective
totally different perspectives
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 about
this
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 matter.
Nevertheless
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, when everything is considered, I am inclined to believe that there should be a delicate balance between
two
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the two
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 arguments.

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure: Bring more coherence to your essay by organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen introduction and conclusion: Your introduction should clearly state your stance on the issue, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points, reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
Support main points with examples: Provide specific examples and explanations to back up your points. For instance, mention specific vocational training courses or programs relevant to the discussion.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task: Make sure you fully address both the importance of vocational training and university education. Also, clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the given statement.
task achievement
Balanced viewpoint: You have attempted to consider both sides of the argument, demonstrating the ability to weigh different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Use of transitional phrases: Phrases like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand' help in making your essay more cohesive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
What to do next:
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