Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that subjects like science and technology are more important than history today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #school #subjects #science #technology

Although

some people believe that

history

is one of the most important

subject

Change to a plural noun

subjects

show examples

compared to

science

and

technology

, I disagree with them and believe

science

and

technology

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more important than

history

. In the essay below I'll be discussing

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

both these views and will share my opinion. On one hand,

history

talks about our origin,

revolutions

Correct article usage

the revolutions

show examples

we have gone through and

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how the modern world we observe today is shaped by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

past

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

For example

learning about

cognitive

Correct article usage

the cognitive

show examples

revolution, agricultural and industrial revolutions could

immensley

Correct your spelling

immensely

benefit us by improving our gratitude

towrads

Correct your spelling

towards

our ancestors in designing a modern civilized society.

However

, educating ourselves about the past will only prevent us from making the same mistake twice.

On the other hand

, learning

science

and

technology

helps us to improve our technical

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skills.

For example

industrialized

Add an article

the industrialized

show examples

economy is accelerating at a rapid

innovating

Correct word choice

innovative

show examples

pace in which the one who

doesn't

Verb problem

isn't

show examples

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

enterpreunership

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurship

will be left behind regardless. These subjects will improve creativity,

co-operation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

show examples

and cohesion in

modernized

Add an article

the modernized

a modernized

show examples

global economy. In conclusion,

science

and

technology

are far more important than

history

which will help us to navigate towards our common goal rather than dwelling in the past and not making any

progreess

Correct your spelling

progress

Submitted by onlineconsumer on Fri May 24 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and details to make your points clearer and more comprehensive.

task achievement

Ensure your essay stays focused on the topic without generalizing too much. While discussing both views, balance your argument by providing equal weight to both sides before sharing your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by better linking your paragraphs. Use transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Check for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity. For instance, use “In this essay” instead of “In the essay below” and ensure consistent tense usage.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the topic and your stance on it, setting a clear direction for the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively reinforces your opinion and summarizes your main points, providing a strong end to your essay.

task achievement

You have identified and discussed both views on the subject, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that subjects like science and technology are more important than history today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to wok in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favour of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.