Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that subjects like science and technology are more important than history today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although
some people believe that
history
is one of the most important
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
show examples
compared to
science
and
technology
, I disagree with them and believe
science
and
technology
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more important than
history
. In the essay below I'll be discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both these views and will share my opinion. On one hand,
history
talks about our origin,
revolutions
Correct article usage
the revolutions
show examples
we have gone through and
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how the modern world we observe today is shaped by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
past
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
.
For example
learning about
cognitive
Correct article usage
the cognitive
show examples
revolution, agricultural and industrial revolutions could
immensley
Correct your spelling
immensely
benefit us by improving our gratitude
towrads
Correct your spelling
towards
our ancestors in designing a modern civilized society.
However
, educating ourselves about the past will only prevent us from making the same mistake twice.
On the other hand
, learning
science
and
technology
helps us to improve our technical
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills.
For example
,
industrialized
Add an article
the industrialized
show examples
economy is accelerating at a rapid
innovating
Correct word choice
innovative
show examples
pace in which the one who
doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
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involve
Wrong verb form
involved
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in
enterpreunership
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
will be left behind regardless. These subjects will improve creativity,
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
and cohesion in
modernized
Add an article
the modernized
a modernized
show examples
global economy. In conclusion,
science
and
technology
are far more important than
history
which will help us to navigate towards our common goal rather than dwelling in the past and not making any
progreess
Correct your spelling
progress
.
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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and details to make your points clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure your essay stays focused on the topic without generalizing too much. While discussing both views, balance your argument by providing equal weight to both sides before sharing your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by better linking your paragraphs. Use transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity. For instance, use “In this essay” instead of “In the essay below” and ensure consistent tense usage.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and your stance on it, setting a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reinforces your opinion and summarizes your main points, providing a strong end to your essay.
task achievement
You have identified and discussed both views on the subject, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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