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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centres, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #congestion #cities #vehicles #city #centres
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In contemporary society, it is common to observe traffic jams around metropolitan
areas
,
due to
 the increasing trend of a number of
transport
 on the roads.
However
,
according to
 some
people
's opinion, it is better to prohibit privately owned
vehicles
while
on the other hand
, some may think it is not a practical solution. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both scenarios with advantages and disadvantages. If we consider the situation in society after prohibiting privately owned
transportation
, there are numerous problems are arising.
For instance
,
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 who live in
field
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fields
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 where public
transportation
 systems are not available would not be able to continue their daily routes.
Although
 the city has a better
transport
 system,
people
 may wait at transit locations in situations when they need to change the
transport
 mode. For example, if the bus stop is not near
to
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apply
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the railway station
people
 have to walk long distances in order to reach their destinations on time.
Furthermore
,
people
 need to leave their homes to reach their workplaces early if they fully rely on the public
transportation
 system,
this
 may literally be unattainable for the busy office workers.
In addition
,
people
 do have an opinion that if they own a private vehicle, it indicates they are rich to society since wealthy
people
 would not agree with
this
 proposal. Some may think it is better to drive alone rather than sitting in over populated bus to maintain their independence. These are some consequences
people
 may face after prohibiting privately owned
vehicles
.
However
,
on the other hand
, since the number of
vehicles
 on roads is reduced
due to
 the prohibition of privately owned
vehicles
 it would be a prime solution for traffic congestion.
Furthermore
, air and noise pollution around urban
areas
 will be reduced gradually, which can lead to a decrease in the number of
people
 who are suffering from respiratory problems around metropolitan
areas
.
People
 will be more persuaded to use public
transport
 because there is an economic advantage as well.
Government
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The government
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 will take action to enhance better quality public
transportation
 systems to facilitate the city inhabitants.
According to
 the above discussion, I do think both situations have pros
as well as
 cons. In my opinion, if the public
transportation
 network is working well within a city, it is better not to use privately owned
vehicles
.
However
, when it comes to rural destinations privately owned
vehicles
 are essential.it is encouraged to minimize privately owned
vehicles
 as much as possible to minimize the traffic congestion around urban
areas
.
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on

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task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives of the issue and provides some analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of banning privately owned vehicles in city centers. However, the arguments could be more clearly developed and supported with specific examples. Clarifying your stance on the issue would also strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally cohesive, some paragraphs would benefit from better internal coherence. Ensure that every paragraph flows logically from one point to the next, and use more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which can disrupt the flow of your writing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets up the discussion well by outlining the two perspectives on the issue of banning privately owned vehicles in city centers.
task achievement
You effectively highlight some of the environmental and health benefits of reducing the number of privately owned vehicles, which shows a good understanding of the broader implications.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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