IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
As technology gets more advanced, the
emerge
Replace the word
emergence
show examples
 of online
books
 or newspapers has attracted some
people
 to adapt their habits more economically by reading them online until in the future, nobody will
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
buy any physical
books
 or
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
. Personally, I disagree with
this
 contention since some still stick with their usual hobbies
to read
Change preposition
of reading
show examples
 them physically. First of all, one of the reasons why
people
 prefer to read offline is they find it more convenient.
For example
, if the duration of reading online is too long, some
people
's eyes
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 endure the tiredness it
made
Verb problem
causes
show examples
.
This
 leads them to feel overwhelmed.
However
, they can fix
this
 problem by buying a device
that is
 friendly to their eyes,
such
 as
e-book
Correct article usage
an e-book
show examples
 reader. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 it costs more even only to buy the small one.
On the other hand
,
people
 like to keep their new
books
 or
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 as a collection.
For instance
, some of them want to live their dreams
to build
Change preposition
of building
show examples
 their own private libraries. Even though
this
 means that they need to spend more, they still want to create it because they can use it
also
 as a home decoration not only just for a collection.
In addition
, their houses will be more aesthetic and
cozier
Change the spelling
cosier
show examples
. That will increase the probability of
people
 staying at home all day long, especially the
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 ones. In conclusion,
although
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 online is cheaper or probably free
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, it still
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 replace the presence of physical
books
 or
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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task response
Ensure an equal balance of both viewpoints through stronger evidence or counterarguments. The essay demonstrates personal opinion, but backing this with statistics, quotes, or expert opinions would solidify the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for better clarity and flow. Consult transition word lists or consider the logical order of ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance cohesiveness.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your vocabulary by using varied expressions and more advanced language structures. Instead of using simple words like 'buy' and 'read,' opt for 'purchase' and 'peruse' or 'explore.'
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay for grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Minor errors can interrupt the reader's flow and understanding.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction successfully sets the stage for the essay and clearly establishes the writer’s stance on the subject matter.
supported main points
Good attempt at providing reasons for why people might still prefer printed books and newspapers.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion nicely reiterates the writer's perspective and wraps up the argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
What to do next:
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