It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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Taking

risks

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has become significant for individuals’

lives

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, for their

proffessional

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professional

lives

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as well as

Linking Words

their personal

lives

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. Despite some

possitive

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positive

effects, I certainly believe that

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

are outweighed the advantages. First and

above all

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, there are two main advantages.

First

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The first

show examples

one is,

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that if

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the

risk

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taken has good results, it can cause

people

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who take

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risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

, to meet new

people

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and build qualified networks.

For instance

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, my sister used

this

Linking Words

education interval to go to Germany and interrupted her school for a

while

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during her university years and now she's married to someone she met there and they have a company. And

secondly

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, individuals who take

risks

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can make a lot of money thanks to the

risks

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they

took

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

According to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

news, many

people

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who took

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risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

and bought coins, in 2010, have now millions of dollars.

Although

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the mentioned

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

effectes

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effects

, there are two essential disadvantages of taking

risks

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Firstly

Linking Words

people

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who

took

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

risks

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would lose their money,

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besides

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and besides

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that, lose their

times

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time

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which is the most important

things

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thing

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

lives

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For instance

Linking Words

, a woman I have been following for years

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apply

show examples

left her job in a well-known company

and

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apply

show examples

took a

risk

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with her husband and moved to a completely different country.

And years

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Years

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later, she told

what

Correct pronoun usage

them what

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they had experienced and explained that

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

risk

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they took in

this

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process was only a waste of time and that they lost all the money they had.

Secondly

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, when the

risks

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taken

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

do not have good results, they can cause

people

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to occure/have mental issues,

such

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as depression and anxiety. In conclusion,

people

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have to realise that mental health and the time they have is more important and they should be careful when taking

risks

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Submitted by svdnruslu on Fri May 24 2024

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task achievement

You've provided a clear position, but it would be more effective if you elaborated your viewpoint with a bit more depth. Try providing more detailed explanations for each of your points.

task achievement

You have relevant examples, but make sure your examples directly support the point you're making. The anecdote about your sister, for instance, could be more clearly linked to the impact of taking risks.

coherence cohesion

Focus on breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones to ensure clarity. For example, 'Despite some positive effects, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.'

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical mistakes and typos, like 'possitive' instead of 'positive'. Make sure to proofread your work to catch such errors

coherence cohesion

Your structure is organized, but the flow could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, effectively giving an overview of your stance.

task achievement

Relevant specific examples are used to illustrate points, which strengthens the essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only provide for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

What can we learn from the boys' experience about the nature of power and leadership?

Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.