IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in working women in offices to enjoy luxury life and support their families. In some nations, ladies
work
Use synonyms
 forty hours per week. Many people believe that women and men should distribute their homework equally. Both sides of
this
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 topic will be carefully analysed before constructing an inference and
at the end
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 of
this
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 topic, I will give my opinion. It is completely agreed
couples
Use synonyms
 must share home tasks to get extra time for their children,
Firstly
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, there are many reasons why both must
work
Use synonyms
 in a team at their residences. The main reason is that men and women need rest after long hours of
work
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 in the offices. Researchers advised that every person must get sufficient sleep to keep themselves healthy. Another factor is that if
couples
Use synonyms
 finish kitchen
work
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 on time and extra time they can give to their family members.
For example
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, in Australia, the majority of husbands and wives
work
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 to pay the mortgage and bear the family’s day-to-day household expenses.
As a result
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, it is evident that working
couples
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 are always happy and healthy.
Secondly
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,
couples
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 must make a weekly basis tasks list and divide it between them,
such
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 as if the wife cooks food in the kitchen
then
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 the man should take on other household responsibilities, teach their children ,pay the bills, and meet relatives and friends.
In addition
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, one partner must take responsibility
such
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 as market shopping
while
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 the other partner finishes household jobs.
For example
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, if a man makes more money for their children, he may get some relaxation because he will arrive late home. In conclusion, following the analysis of why partners must share
work
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 responsibilities,
it is clear that
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 to keep long-term relations girls and boys understand each other and take care of residence’s responsibilities, to keep balance in life.In my opinion, to keep healthy and happy, both must share housework, for a better lifestyle.
Further
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, it is predicted that working in a team at home is going to continue in the future as well.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one central idea. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Some phrases and sentences can be rephrased for better clarity and precision. For example, 'ladies work forty hours per week' can be rephrased to 'women work forty hours per week'.
task response
Strengthen some arguments with more detailed examples or evidence. This will make your points more persuasive.
task response
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy. Simple errors can sometimes affect the readability of your essay.
introduction and conclusion present
Nice introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples that support the main points.
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