Some people say that the government should ensure that people lead to a healthy life, while others believe that individuals should have their own choices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
believe that the government must make sure that people
lead to
a healthy Change preposition
apply
lifestyle
. However
, some people
argue that individuals should have their own options. In my perspective, implementing healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
lifestyle
gives many benefits for
Change preposition
to
people
itself
. Meanwhile, sometimes Correct pronoun usage
apply
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
lifestyle
is something that not every person could
provide. Wrong verb form
can
This
essay will discuss both perspective
and provide reasons why Change to a plural noun
perspectives
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
lifestyle
is essential for the
Correct article usage
apply
people
.
To begin
with, people
who put
Verb problem
are
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
to
their health Change preposition
about
would be
live longer because they understand how to manage their Wrong verb form
will
body
fitness. Body
fitness refers to healthy
Add an article
a healthy
body
that get
better treatment Change the verb form
gets
such
as physical exercise and healthy diet food. However
, to make sure that an individual in
Add a missing verb
is in
the
fit Correct article usage
a
condition
they should visit expert
like Correct article usage
an expert
doctor
because the measurement of fit itself can't be measured by ourselves. Add an article
a doctor
For instance
, people
who get malnutricient
food Correct your spelling
malnutrition
physically
Add a missing verb
are physically
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
with
bodied Change preposition
to
people
. That is
why it is essential to seek for
help Change preposition
apply
by
Change preposition
from
the
expert to understand our Correct article usage
an
body
condition
.
On the other hand
, becoming healthy is need
money and Wrong verb form
needed
that is
not cheap because the
inflation makes the prices of goods riseCorrect article usage
apply
up
. So, looking through that Change preposition
apply
condition
, many people
could not afford healthy food as what government suggest because they are in bad economically. However
, the goverment
could Correct your spelling
government
facilitating
them with Change the verb form
facilitate
be facilitating
the
subsidies that could reduce their monthly Correct article usage
apply
spent
which will lead them Replace the word
spending
into
healthy Change preposition
to
lifestyle
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
To conclude
, many people
understand that it is essential to keep themselves in the
great Correct article usage
a
condition
such
as had
Wrong verb form
having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
lifestyle
. Meanwhile, several people
are find
it difficult for them, due Change the verb form
find
their
Change preposition
to their
economically
Change the adverb
economic
condition
. However
, government
need to take action to Add an article
the government
leading
their Change the verb form
lead
people
living
Change the verb form
to live
good
Add an article
a good
lifestyle
and reach Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
body
fitness.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it's important to work on the logical flow of your arguments. Try to maintain a clear structure where each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Ensure that every supporting point directly ties back to the main argument of the paragraph or the thesis statement.
task achievement
While your essay generally addresses the task, you can enhance the completeness of your response by providing a more thorough examination of both perspectives. Dedicate more space to discussing how the government might ensure a healthy lifestyle and how individuals can make their own choices in a more balanced manner.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive. This can be achieved by expanding on your points. For instance, when discussing how the government can help people afford a healthy lifestyle, mention specific subsidies or programs that could be implemented.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives and presents your opinion. This sets up the reader for what to expect in the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a strong closing to the essay.