Some people say that the government should ensure that people lead to a healthy life, while others believe that individuals should have their own choices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
believe that the government must make sure that
people
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lead
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a healthy
lifestyle
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.
However
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, some
people
Use synonyms
argue that individuals should have their own options. In my perspective, implementing
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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lifestyle
Use synonyms
gives many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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people
Use synonyms
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. Meanwhile, sometimes
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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lifestyle
Use synonyms
is something that not every person
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
provide.
This
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essay will discuss both
perspective
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perspectives
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and provide reasons why
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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lifestyle
Use synonyms
is essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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.
To begin
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with,
people
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who
put
Verb problem
are
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concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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to
Change preposition
about
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their health
would be
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will
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live longer because they understand how to manage their
body
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fitness.
Body
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fitness refers to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body
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that
get
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gets
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better treatment
such
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as physical exercise and healthy diet food.
However
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, to make sure that an individual
in
Add a missing verb
is in
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the
Correct article usage
a
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fit
condition
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they should visit
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
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like
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
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because the measurement of fit itself can't be measured by ourselves.
For instance
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,
people
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who get
malnutricient
Correct your spelling
malnutrition
food
physically
Add a missing verb
are physically
show examples
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
with
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to
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bodied
people
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.
That is
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why it is essential to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
help
by
Change preposition
from
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the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
expert to understand our
body
Use synonyms
condition
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, becoming healthy is
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
money and
that is
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not cheap because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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inflation makes the prices of goods rise
up
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apply
show examples
. So, looking through that
condition
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, many
people
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could not afford healthy food as what government suggest because they are in bad economically.
However
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, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
could
facilitating
Change the verb form
facilitate
be facilitating
show examples
them with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subsidies that could reduce their monthly
spent
Replace the word
spending
show examples
which will lead them
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
healthy
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
To conclude
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, many
people
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understand that it is essential to keep themselves in
the
Correct article usage
a
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great
condition
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such
Linking Words
as
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, several
people
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are find
Change the verb form
find
show examples
it difficult for them, due
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
economically
Change the adverb
economic
show examples
condition
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
need to take action to
leading
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
their
people
Use synonyms
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and reach
body
Use synonyms
fitness.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it's important to work on the logical flow of your arguments. Try to maintain a clear structure where each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Ensure that every supporting point directly ties back to the main argument of the paragraph or the thesis statement.
task achievement
While your essay generally addresses the task, you can enhance the completeness of your response by providing a more thorough examination of both perspectives. Dedicate more space to discussing how the government might ensure a healthy lifestyle and how individuals can make their own choices in a more balanced manner.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive. This can be achieved by expanding on your points. For instance, when discussing how the government can help people afford a healthy lifestyle, mention specific subsidies or programs that could be implemented.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives and presents your opinion. This sets up the reader for what to expect in the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a strong closing to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government intervention
  • public healthcare
  • preventative care
  • health promotion
  • public health campaigns
  • individual responsibility
  • personal choice
  • freedom of choice
  • cultural preferences
  • autonomy
  • health regulations
  • preventative measures
  • lifestyle choices
  • health education
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