Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the use of
computers
on a daily basis in the contemporary world. For
this
reason, they should be established in the classrooms, and certain programs utilized for educational purposes.
A commonly held belief is that computers
have taken one of the leading places in many areas of human activity, in work, leisure, data retrieval, communication and so on. As evidence of this
they point to the advantages of Add a comma
this,
such
inventions and they provide students with distinct informational resources which may broaden their horizons. Furthermore
, computers
simplify the learning process and children are able to find any
useful data, so they do not have to flip through thick books and waste their time. It could be explained by the fact that sometimes many books contain unnecessary information which makes the learner confused and he loses the desire to study. Correct quantifier usage
apply
As a result
, it leads to a deterioration of the level of education which also
has a terrible impact on the economy.
On the other hand
, some people claim that improper use of computers
can cause health troubles. For example
, they may mention that excessive usage brings tangible discomfort and even harm to mental health. In addition
, strenuous work at the monitor also
has a harmful effect on vision. The explanation lies in the fact that students will get used to such
technological inventions and their intellectual abilities get worse due to
dependence. Therefore
, it would be better to keep the balance.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that the introduction of computers
has a negative impact on the teaching process because it only can be entertaining for students to study that way.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which is good. However, the final opinion is not entirely clear and seems contradictory. Make your stance more explicit and consistent throughout the essay. For example, if you believe computers have a negative impact, reinforce this viewpoint in your conclusion with stronger arguments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the argument, which is a strength. However, transitions between ideas can be smoother. For example, instead of jumping directly into the benefits of computers in the second paragraph, use a transitional phrase like 'On one hand,' to signal the continuation of the argument.
supported main points
The main points are generally supported, but examples could be more specific and varied. Instead of broadly stating that computers provide distinct informational resources, you could mention specific educational software or databases that students could use for learning.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the argument effectively.
complete response
The topic is well-addressed, covering both the benefits and drawbacks of using computers in the classroom. This demonstrates a balanced understanding of the issue.
logical structure
The essay logically separates supporting and opposing viewpoints into separate paragraphs, which aids in clarity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example