Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age

Whether going to

school

is a highly subjective discussion point.

However

, from prior experience, it is more beneficial

to begin

intuitions at an

age

early, despite those who believe that a mature

age

is suitable for your

children

. It must be understood that learning basic skills at kindergarten

school

for

children

from three to five years old is a strong foundation for them.

This

has led to the young generation having good

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

such

as saying "thanks" and "sorry" in some situations.

For example

, there are different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

for an early

age

like private or public systems to match with various demands of citizens. As a

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

children

who early study may be familiar with time schedules more than others at the same

age

However

, some people think that pupils should gain knowledge at primary

school

at the

age

of around seven.

This

due to

, parents want to create a colourful life for their

children

and

cooporate

Correct your spelling

corporate

cooperate

in their growing.

In addition

, on networking sites, there is a lot of news related to bullying in

school

or a child becoming an isolated person after a short time.

Therefore

, going to

school

at an older

age

may be safe for

children

nowadays as parents say. From

this

writer's experience,

this

is more

advantages

Replace the word

advantageous

show examples

for

children

to be similar

with

Change preposition

show examples

educational

Add an article

the educational

show examples

system.

This

is because they should know how to talk with strange people and learn some basic skills in real life.

Moreover

, preparing for the future is necessary to be successful in studies and go around a new community that can create their personality.

Therefore

, I suppose that

children

should be particular in

school

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young

age

. Clearly,

this

essay has shown that the main factors which impact

upon

Change preposition

apply

show examples

education are future prospects and learning key skills.

Therefore

, learning at an early

age

is more suitable than others.

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points to enhance the argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence and flow.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases to maintain the reader's interest.

task achievement

Make sure to address both views more evenly before stating your opinion.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear opinion on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively convey the writer's stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
social skills
learning disabilities
natural development
family bonding
competitive edge
formal education
Scandinavian countries
academic performance
balanced approach

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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