IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others say that it is getting easier. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #cities #points
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As
the
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time passes, there are a lot of voices arising from people who say that it is getting harder to live in urban
areas
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while
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 others say that it is getting much easier. I'm
in
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of
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 the opinion
of
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that
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 living
big
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in big
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cities
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 is becoming more problematic.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and state my own position. On the one hand, living in urban
areas
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 is getting very difficult because the
cities
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 are getting more crowded day by day. With overcrowding, everything is getting harder ,
such
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 as going from somewhere to another place , shopping , parking , etc.
For example
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 ;
although
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 it was way easier to find a parking place when you go to a shopping mall to do groceries, it is a real problem for people today. They spend lots of time
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while
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trying to find a parking lot. It can be seen as a simple thing but even these small things can lead to
a
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chaos
at the end
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 of the day.
On the other hand
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, some claim that living in big
cities
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 is a piece of cake. It is thought that it is easy because there are lots of options in terms of every aspect of daily life in cosmopolitans. If a person wants to attend a course , it is very simple to find many options in big
cities
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Linking Words
while
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it is a serious problem in rural
areas
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. When it comes to my opinion, I strongly agree that urban
areas
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 are getting so hard to live in owing to
the
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overpopulation. It is an undeniable fact that crime rates are really high in
cities
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 and it is still an ongoing and increasing situation.
Thus
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, it is really challenging to reside in these places.
To sum up
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, there are
sommon
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common
 beliefs about living either in urban or
in
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rural
areas
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. Some claim that it is getting harder
while
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the
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others oppose
this
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 idea. I strongly agree with the first part and admit the hardship of living in
cities
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.
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, try to provide a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. The essay currently leans heavily towards the viewpoint that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Offering more depth when discussing the opposite viewpoint can improve the task response.
task achievement
When presenting examples and supporting points, try to provide more specific and detailed instances. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing. Currently, some examples are rather general.
coherence cohesion
Aim for clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will make the essay easier to follow and improve overall coherence and cohesion. Using linking words and phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, consider refining the logical flow within each paragraph. Making sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develops it fully can enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The writer offers a complete response to the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing a personal opinion.
task achievement
The main points presented are relevant to the task and demonstrate an understanding of the issues discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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