Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a common belief among experts that if a rich nation's government make any attempts to improve the financial
wealth
, it will not have any more effects in terms of the citizens' satisfaction. However
, this
writer disagrees with this
because of the comparison between individuals and the misinformation stemming from the wage gap.
To begin
with, it is vital to consider the characteristics of humans such
as competitiveness. It is obvious that individuals will not be happy with what they have, they will compare themselves with people
around them to see if they are wealthier or not; therefore
, desire for
more. Because of that, enforcing alternation for an increase in economic Change preposition
apply
wealth
to boost individuals' income is a must for authorities in order to maintain their communities' happiness. Take Vietnamese residents as a contextual example, richness competitions are pretty popular in Vietnam because people
are envious with
each other, they often measure their wages and worth to see who is richer.
Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, it also
must be acknowledged that the wage gap can lead to misinformation. Having a rich country does not means
everyone is rich, there are some differences in the salary between distinct groups of a society. To be more specific, some Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
people
might earn a fortune whereas
some just earn a little money enough for their survival. Overtime
, the worth disparity starts to become greater and greater and results in a general statistic about the country's Correct your spelling
Over time
wealth
which is completely false. Thus
, assuming that the whole nation is affluent through a simplified view and not making improvements in the financial wealth
is a serious mistake. For instance
, since India has a vast number of billionaires, people
sometimes mistake that India is wealthy but in fact, the majority of its population have
to live in slums.
In conclusion, competitiveness and misinformation are the contributors to the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
unsatisfaction
among residents. Replace the word
dissatisfaction
Hence
, this
essay has given clear points to demonstrate the author's disagreement to
experts' opinion Change preposition
with
about
rich Change preposition
that
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
increase
economic value Wrong verb form
increased
are
unnecessary.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt more directly in the introduction, clearly stating your overall position on the topic and outlining the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs to make your argument more coherent. Consider using more transition words and phrases to clearly connect your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples. Try to provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on maintaining a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a specific focus and contribute to building your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in clearly conveying your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as those from Vietnam and India, which help to support your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?