Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a common belief among experts that if a rich nation's government make any attempts to improve the financial

wealth

Use synonyms

, it will not have any more effects in terms of the citizens' satisfaction.

However

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this

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writer disagrees with

this

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because of the comparison between individuals and the misinformation stemming from the wage gap.

To begin

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with, it is vital to consider the characteristics of humans

such

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as competitiveness. It is obvious that individuals will not be happy with what they have, they will compare themselves with

people

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around them to see if they are wealthier or not;

therefore

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, desire

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more. Because of that, enforcing alternation for an increase in economic

wealth

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to boost individuals' income is a must for authorities in order to maintain their communities' happiness. Take Vietnamese residents as a contextual example, richness competitions are pretty popular in Vietnam because

people

Use synonyms

are envious

with

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show examples

each other, they often measure their wages and worth to see who is richer.

Furthermore

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, it

also

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must be acknowledged that the wage gap can lead to misinformation. Having a rich country does not

means

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mean

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everyone is rich, there are some differences in the salary between distinct groups of a society. To be more specific, some

people

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might earn a fortune

whereas

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some just earn a little money enough for their survival.

Overtime

Correct your spelling

Over time

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, the worth disparity starts to become greater and greater and results in a general statistic about the country's

wealth

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which is completely false.

Thus

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, assuming that the whole nation is affluent through a simplified view and not making improvements in the financial

wealth

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is a serious mistake.

For instance

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, since India has a vast number of billionaires,

people

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sometimes mistake that India is wealthy but in fact, the majority of its population

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to live in slums. In conclusion, competitiveness and misinformation are the contributors to the

unsatisfaction

Replace the word

dissatisfaction

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among residents.

Hence

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this

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essay has given clear points to demonstrate the author's disagreement

Change preposition

with

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experts' opinion

about

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that

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rich

countries

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countries'

country's

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increase

Wrong verb form

increased

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economic value

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

unnecessary.

Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhàFri May 24 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to address the prompt more directly in the introduction, clearly stating your overall position on the topic and outlining the main points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs to make your argument more coherent. Consider using more transition words and phrases to clearly connect your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples. Try to provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Focus on maintaining a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a specific focus and contribute to building your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in clearly conveying your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your argument.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as those from Vietnam and India, which help to support your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

You and your colleague want to use a company room. Write a letter to your manager and ask for permission. In your letter, you should: explain why you need the room describe which room you need and why tell what changes you’ll need in the room

Some people believe that humans are damaging seriously the environment. what are the causes? what should people do to solve this peoblem?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?”