Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

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A great deal of college and
university
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students
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consider studying far away from their hometown a good choice.
Although
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choosing to
study
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at colleges or universities in a quite different region or far away from their
home
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may cost them more expenses, I believe that the benefits are more because that might give
students
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opportunities to self-practice to be more perfect
as well as
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to build new
relationships
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which may be useful for their
future
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. Studying in a college or
university
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distant from
home
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might incur additional costs for
students
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. They must pay for
rental
Replace the word
rent
show examples
and food, which is free if they
study
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at
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
campuses near their
home
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.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
show examples
university
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students
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in Viet Nam spend an average of 200-300 USD per month for room rental and food if they choose to
study
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at colleges in big cities, not in their hometown.
Nevertheless
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, attending a
university
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in a big city
that is
Linking Words
far away from their countryside may not only give them chances to grow up through self-solving problems in their life but
also
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to make new friends that might be useful for their
future
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Living distant from their
home
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and their parents supply
students
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occasions
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with occasions
show examples
to consider and make choices independently and
thus
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,
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to develop and become more perfect after failures, studying and
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
problem
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
show examples
skills solving, attempts and success. Another benefit that
students
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might get is that they can have more time to make new friends or build new
relationships
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that may be beneficial in their
future
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. When living in a new environment,
students
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will have chances to go to clubs or extra classes
as well as
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join in different activities and meet new people that may give them opportunities to develop soon or later.
For example
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, some of my mentees left their hometown to
study
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their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
college degree in a big city and had some quality
relationships
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while
Linking Words
living there which benefited them a lot in their later business. In conclusion, despite living far from
home
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to
study
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at a
university
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may have some disadvantages
such
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as
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
food and rental, I think the benefits outweigh the detrimental effects because the
students
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will develop their living skills more quickly
as well as
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have more good
relationships
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to be successful in the
future
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.
Submitted by hoangdaosales on

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task achievement
Your task response is generally good. You have addressed the topic effectively, weighing the benefits and drawbacks of studying far from home. However, try to better integrate your examples into your arguments to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure, some sections could transition more smoothly. Pay attention to the flow between paragraphs and ideas. Linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, with clear statements of your position.
task achievement
Your points are generally well-supported with specific examples, such as the cost breakdown for students in Vietnam and anecdotes about your mentees.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and easy to follow, making it clear for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural sensitivity
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • specialized programs
  • networking
  • career opportunities
  • homesickness
  • cultural shock
  • financial strain
  • accommodation
  • cost of living
  • family relationships
  • emotional challenges
What to do next:
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