The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about measures to ensure
road
safety
.
However
, whether imposing stricter penalties for driving offenses is the only
way
to protect people is still a controversial issue.
Although
I agree that harsher punishments can act as an effective
way
to deter people from committing
road
offences, I believe that there are better methods to protect the welfare of
road
users.
Firstly
, it is obvious that the implementation of rules can act as a deterrent to would-be lawbreakers.
For example
, in Vietnam, a motorist not wearing a helmet can be fined $20 to $40, and
thus
he will be in fear of facing
further
punishment and avoid committing another offence.
Furthermore
, more stringent punishments for traffic crimes can be an efficient
way
to reduce traffic accidents.
For instance
, in the past, China witnessed a significant number of annual
road
casualties when it had very loosely enforced regulations.
However
, once harsher laws related to
road
safety
were implemented in 2009, there was a notable reduction in the total number of traffic accidents.
This
is not to say that only by using stricter rules can we enhance the
safety
of our roads. It is true that there are still other effective measures to ensure people’s
safety
,
such
as heightening people’s awareness through the media about the consequences of committing driving offenses
,
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or promoting the use of public transport systems
such
as buses or trains. To achieve the best results, the most effective method may be to combine all the aforementioned ideas. In conclusion, I believe that stricter punishments are not the only
way
to deal with minimizing driving offences. Measures, including raising people’s awareness and promoting the use of public transport systems, can
also
contribute to maintaining
road
safety
Submitted by alishah2294 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic, and you provide relevant examples and ideas to support your arguments. To add more depth, consider incorporating additional data or evidence from different regions or studies. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is very good, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for even smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the situation in Vietnam and China, strengthens your argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
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