It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?
In a company always can easily find
adifferent
Correct your spelling
a different
different
age
employees working in same
department, which is common in every Change the article
the same
occuration
and country. In Correct your spelling
occupation
this
essay, I will discuss about upside of working with people who not
the same Add a missing verb
are not
age
as you and downside
of staying with different generations.
When Human Correct article usage
the downside
Resource
Fix the agreement mistake
Resources
announced
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announces
position
Correct article usage
a position
hirin
, work experience usually Correct your spelling
hiring
are
more important than Correct subject-verb agreement
is
age
. Therefore
, it is easy to meet people who not
Add a missing verb
are not
in
your Change preposition
apply
age
to working
with, to be more exact, different work experience individuals to be with. Huamn's thinking logic and perspectives changed Change the form of the verb
work
by
times and things happened. Once Change preposition
as
thise
workers who do not have Correct your spelling
those
these
this
same
background working together will create new ideas after some Correct article usage
the same
harshy
discussion.
Correct your spelling
harsh
harshly
However
, depends on the ratio of age
in Fix the agreement mistake
ages
same
team will lead the thoughts to another way when voting for Change the article
the same
new
direction on work. When different generations meet up, they feel Add an article
a new
be
offended by other perspectives which not agree with, Unnecessary verb
apply
nevertheless
, those same ageswill
start being Correct your spelling
ages will
pages will
stuborn
Correct your spelling
stubborn
on
thoughts, Change preposition
in
however
Add a comma
however,
this
disadvantage can be resolved by supervisor
or team leader who Correct article usage
the supervisor
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
chargedin
the team. Correct your spelling
charged in
charged
As
my perspective, it is always a good way to have a chance Change preposition
From
working
with Change the verb form
to work
difference
of Add an article
a difference
the difference
age
.
in sum, cooperation with Fix the agreement mistake
ages
difference
of Add an article
a difference
the difference
age
employeesis
the best way in any company which advantage Correct your spelling
employees is
employees
is outweigh
Change the verb form
is outweighed
Add an article
the disadvantage
disadvantage
.Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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task achievement
You have addressed the topic and presented both the advantages and disadvantages of working with people of different ages. This shows a clear understanding of the task. However, it would be beneficial to provide more relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a logical progression, but the paragraphs could be better organized, with clearer topic sentences and better transitions between ideas. This will enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, try to make your conclusion more detailed, summarizing the main points discussed in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes main points, but they need more detailed support. To improve your essay, provide specific examples and further explanation to back up each point.
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "working in same department," "position hirin," and "be chargedin the team." Reviewing these aspects and improving your sentence structure will create a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. For instance, instead of repeating "disadvantage," you can use synonyms or rephrase the sentences.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working with people from different ages, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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