Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced number of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In today's modern era ,
people
prefer to communicate through online emails or texting rather than planning to meet with each other which results in a bad impact on the social well-being of the individual. I partially agree with the above notion and I will be discussing my points in detail further
.
On the one hand , communicating through online websites or portals helps to save the time of the individual. For example
, to express one feeling or opinion person has to travel all the way to their friends, family or employer which takes a lot of time to commute and reduces the chances of meeting regularly . Moreover
, online communication
can also
assist in socialising with people
living in foreign countries which will reduce the cost of travelling to other places. In addition
to this
, nowadays it is found to be the fastest way of communication
. For instance
, people
do not need to wait for a longer time to deliver their message in person which they can easily do through messages without any inconvenience and is a great platform for them to connect with different types of people
worldwide.
On the other hand
, It is true that the use of different types of communication
apps on gadgets has reduced the people
to meet each other in person due to
which they are not able to express the real feelings that they want to their loved ones. It is observed that most of the parents stay away from their family to earn good money and stability which might lead to a weak bond with the family as they won't be able to manifest their love through hugs and family get-togethers. Furthermore
, due to
the use of easy ways of communication
, people
prefer not to move around as they feel comfortable browsing or chatting with people
in their comfort zones resulting in developing introverted nature and might lead to depression. Lastly
, it causes a lack of confidence among the individual to be a public speaker or handle any situation in their life practically . Due to
this
they also
get trapped by fake people
who do not show their real faces on online websites.
In conclusion, Although
using online communication
methods reduces the people
meeting face to face it has resulted in a positive impact on getting links with Correct quantifier usage
number of people
people
worldwide too.Submitted by gp04101995 on
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task achievement
Overall, your essay presents a good understanding of the prompt and provides relevant arguments for both sides. To improve, ensure that each main point is fully developed with specific, detailed examples. This will strengthen your task response score.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs, and ending with a conclusion. However, using transition words and phrases more effectively can enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs. For instance, terms like 'consequently,' 'on the contrary,' 'furthermore,' etc., can help connect ideas smoothly.
introduction and conclusion
Make sure your conclusion not only summarizes the main points discussed but also clearly states your stance. This adds to the clarity and coherence of your essay. You can restate your partial agreement more explicitly in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance, providing a good start for the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have presented arguments for both sides of the issue, making your essay balanced.
general
The essay is largely free of major grammatical errors, making it easy to read and understand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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