IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of his outweigh the advantages?

#differences #countries #people #films #fashion #brands #advertisements #tv #channels
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Nowadays, differences between states are becoming less evident and society is watching to same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. In
this
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 writer will talk about some advantages of that but will have some disadvantages to the issue.
Firstly
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, cannot be understood that in recent years, the crowd used a lot of the same equipment like phones, vehicles or some of them and because of that
so
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apply
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the information the nation consumes is not different.
For example
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, now the population cannot distinguish Australia and America because they are the same in a lot of faces like traditional activities and how they live that complication will make the world more negative, special is not different than before but society to make the nature more various so is very serious.
Secondly
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, some societies have many discussions because they believe traditional activities that are the same will have a bad future for those states, and the most serious will be a war between two or more lands.
Furthermore
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, on the internet there are more complaints from other populations about some videos copying other ideas and a serious person who is attacked will be found dead because not put up with it. In conclusion, the problem more countries in over the world are becoming the same will happen more and more problem for people or countries that do not have an advantage over the world in now and the future.
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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your ideas are clearly expressed and developed. For example, the point about Australia and America should be elaborated more to provide a clearer picture of how cultural similarities lead to confusion. Additionally, the explanation of how sameness could lead to war or conflict needs more support and logical connection.
relevant specific examples
Present relevant, specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific films, brands, or TV channels that are popular globally and explain how this influences cultural perceptions.
logical structure
Organize your essay logically, ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Some sections suddenly jump to a new point without smooth transitions. Consider using linking phrases and sentences to enhance the flow of ideas.
complete response
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of the issue, showing a balanced view which is crucial for task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in providing a sense of completeness to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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