Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have more become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, it is said that each person depends much more on the other.
However
, it is argued that everyone increasingly become independent. The writer of this
essay believes many people
more
and more independent.
It must be understood that Add a missing verb
are more
enormous
crowd have to adapt strongly to develop society in the present day. Community is more and more developing, cause to the requirement of qualification in Correct article usage
an enormous
work
or education is higher as well as
better. Therefore
, people
often depend on the
other to help them finish Correct your spelling
each
work
or exercise more quickly. Lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
Leads
the
deeply dependence problem.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, some person has the
confident Correct article usage
a
willed
and they would like to develop by themselves. In education, Replace the word
will
competitive
environment often appears in Correct article usage
a competitive
school
, most of the gifted Fix the agreement mistake
schools
university
. Every student always tries their best to get Fix the agreement mistake
universities
higher
score. Add an article
a higher
the higher
Lead to the
independence is seem an important item Verb problem
The
of
each student. In Change preposition
for
work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
where
is the more competitive area employers Correct word choice
which
also
work
or conduct a
research.
As I see it, to be honest when I said the majority of Remove the article
apply
people
depend on the other one to work
or study daily. As all
Correct word choice
All
people
rather enjoy entertaining
than Replace the word
entertainment
working
, even finishing the Replace the word
work
work
without challenges or industry. Moreover
, they wish could promote through any difficulty. For example
, the home
Correct your spelling
homework
work
is need
to be finished, which Wrong verb form
needs
Correct article usage
the crowd
crowd
often Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
copy
or Replace the word
copies
do
great, Correct subject-verb agreement
does
then
they borrow their friends to finish.
Taking everything into account, not all of the young nowadays keep their mind based on others but generally, there is a tendency to appear in the new generation. Hopefully, favourable conditions on social media can create more opportunities for adolescents in order to develop themselvesUnauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Work on developing your points more thoroughly. Provide clearer explanations and specific examples to support your main arguments.
introduction conclusion
Make sure the introduction sets a clear context for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points while presenting your opinion clearly.
general
Revise your sentences for grammatical correctness and clarity. This will help enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
introduction conclusion
You have presented an introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.