Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, it isn't easy to distinguish between other countries because most individuals have similar tastes in food, clothing, brands, and television shows.
While
the younger generations are moving away from their traditional origins,
this
trend has more positive effects than the drawbacks
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because it fosters respect for
one
another's cultures through shared interests. The primary disadvantage of
this
trend is that younger generations are becoming less connected to their cultural heritage. Young
people
choose to wear the newest brands rather
dress
Correct word choice
than dress
show examples
traditionally for
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
occasions because they want to set a fashion trend.
For instance
, the majority of college students in India used to dress traditionally, but these days, western fashion has a greater influence on them. But
as a result
of these
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
change
Add a comma
change,
show examples
individuals are getting along better and sharing meals with
one
another regardless of their backgrounds. Sharing foods and brands
haw
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
many benefits, including allowing individuals to sample a wide range of cuisines and learn about
one
another's cultures. Most
people
are likely to adjust to new circumstances and find happiness in forming new relationships.
Furthermore
,
people
get relief when they
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
more connected to and welcomed by others.
For example
, immigrants begin to blend in with the culture of the nation they are living in, feeling content and happy to the point where it is difficult to identify them. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
people
in different countries are becoming less
bale
Correct your spelling
able
show examples
to distinguish between
one
another in terms of taste in cuisine, fashion, and other forms of entertainment. Both men and women, in my opinion, feel more
connect
Change the form of the verb
connected
show examples
to
one
another and content with
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
show examples
of possibilities available to them.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is coherent and structured well, but pay attention to small grammatical errors and awkward phrases, like 'for spend occasions.' Proofreading might help you catch these inconsistencies.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and logically connected, but try to be more concise and avoid repetition of ideas. Refining your statements could improve the overall flow.
relevant specific examples
Make sure to provide specific, relevant examples to support your points more effectively. While you do include examples, they can be more detailed and directly linked to your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and clearly explained. Elaborate on how shared interests foster respect and connection by giving more specific examples. Expand more on the advantages to provide a more balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a balanced perspective throughout.
supported main points
You provide clear examples to illustrate your points, such as the influence of Western fashion on Indian college students.
complete response
Your writing demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic, and you have addressed all parts of the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!