Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other.Other believe people have become more independent.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals

The majority of

people

often think that

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

are becoming dependent

while

others think that

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

are turning

into

Change preposition

apply

show examples

independent.

This

author will discuss both

perspective

Change to a plural noun

perspectives

show examples

and give my own opinion. It must be understood that folk

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

becoming dependent on each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

This

means

people

want to get the result immediately so they are obsessed with the speed

as well as

they want to make everything simple in order not to work hard or think.

Therefore

,become useless and do not have any

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

For example

,some juniors do not want to think or use their mind,they will ask their friend or the teacher even

the

Correct word choice

if the

show examples

question is simple and basic to get the answer immediately.

However

,it can

be say

Change the verb form

be said

show examples

that individuals are becoming

dependent

Correct quantifier usage

more dependent

show examples

than before.

In other words

,they can self-earning

as well as

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

knowledge about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

finance and how to do everything by themselves.

Consequently

,become independent and get many

experience

Change to a plural noun

experiences

show examples

about life and

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

.Take many students in high school

for instance

due to

the school

far

Add a missing verb

being far

show examples

from their house

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have to live

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

house is rented to be

easy in

Replace the word

easily

show examples

educate

Wrong verb form

educated

show examples

this

school.They have to do everything alone,learn to

self-caring

Correct your spelling

self-care

show examples

and

cooking

Replace the word

cook

show examples

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

,some of them

are find

Change the verb form

find

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

waiter

Fix the agreement mistake

waiters

show examples

and

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

show examples

to earn

living

Correct article usage

a living

show examples

and pay for the house

is rented

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. From my point of view,I believe that

people

are becoming dependent on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others.It is a negative impact on the growth of the

childen

Correct your spelling

children

and the

develop

Replace the word

development

show examples

of the countries. In conclusion,the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

in the present day are becoming dependent on

people

Hence

it can make them lose their critical thinking

as well as

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

Sat May 25 2024

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task achievement

In the introduction, make sure to clearly state both perspectives and briefly mention your own opinion. This sets a clear roadmap for your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph deals with a single idea. This improves the logical flow and clarity of your essay.

task achievement

Expand on your examples to provide more context and explanation. This helps strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Review your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This enhances readability and coherence.

task achievement

You have touched upon both perspectives, showing an understanding of the question.

task achievement

You provided specific examples to illustrate your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
globalization
remote work
independence
dependency
specialization
professional services
social validation
individualism
self-reliance
collective action
sustainability
global community
navigating
complexity
environmental movement

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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