Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I disagree with the statement that only people who earn a lot of money are successful.
Success
is a multifaceted concept that encompasses various dimensions beyond mere financial wealth.
Firstly
, personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
and happiness are crucial indicators of
success
. Many individuals derive satisfaction from their careers, relationships, and contributions to society, regardless of their income levels.
For instance
, teachers, social workers, and artists often earn modest salaries but achieve immense personal and professional
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
through their impactful work.
Secondly
,
success
can
also
be measured by the positive influence one has on others and the legacy they leave behind. Philanthropists, community leaders, and volunteers may not always be wealthy, but their efforts to improve the lives of others and their communities are clear markers of
success
.
Additionally
, achieving a work-life balance and maintaining good health are significant aspects of
success
. Individuals who prioritize their well-being, spend quality time with their families, and pursue hobbies and interests can be considered highly successful, even if they do not earn large sums of money. In conclusion, equating
success
solely with financial wealth is a narrow perspective. True
success
is a comprehensive blend of personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
, positive impact, and
overall
well-being, making it attainable for individuals across various income levels.
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To further improve your essay, consider expanding on your examples by providing more detailed explanations or specific instances. This will enhance the reader's understanding and make your arguments even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and flows well, using more cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, can create an even smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted. However, you might want to slightly elevate the impact by incorporating a memorable quote or an engaging anecdote related to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, effectively addressing the question and presenting a well-reasoned argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support your main points, and a cohesive conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay and makes your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are appropriately present, providing a strong framework for your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • fulfillment
  • personal happiness
  • contributions to society
  • volunteering
  • activism
  • personal achievements
  • academic accomplishments
  • mastering a skill
  • indicators of success
  • independent of monetary wealth
  • financial stability
  • monetary wealth
  • emotional well-being
  • societal impact
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