IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems

#country #language
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Living abroad is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 interesting experience, but
people
Use synonyms
 inevitably have to speak a foreign language to communicate.
However
Linking Words
,
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second language is not easy for them. In my opinion,
to speak
Change the verb form
speaking
show examples
 a foreign language might cause difficulty in daily life, but I still believe that it will improve your survival skills. It is true that everyone in
this
Linking Words
 world is not a kind person,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 is a reason why social problems occur.
For example
Linking Words
, Asians are bullied because they can not speak English in some countries.
This
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of confidence and self-esteem.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 good at pronunciation can be discriminated
by
Change preposition
against by
show examples
 native speakers too.
However
Linking Words
, living overseas can develop many survival skills, especially communication
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you have to use public transport, you have to ask foreign
people
Use synonyms
 and order some food. All of these situations must happen when you are in another country and provide a better speaking skill. In my perspective, depreciation is not the reason why you should give up on a speaking part. If you consider
this
Linking Words
 issue as
Correct article usage
a blessings
show examples
blessings
Fix the agreement mistake
blessing
show examples
 in disguise, you will
breakthrough
Correct your spelling
break through
show examples
 the wall of bullying and
this
Linking Words
 contributes to your confidence to develop your communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. In conclusion, we should stop thinking that
people
Use synonyms
 who are not good at languages are not intelligent. If humans respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other,
this
Linking Words
 will not trigger social problems. Racism would make others unconfident and lose self-esteem.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason why no one deserves
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
depreciation.
Submitted by nugentsr on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure each paragraph naturally leads to the next by using transitional phrases and linking words appropriately.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your points. Specific real-world examples make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a thorough understanding.
coherence cohesion
Improve the range and accuracy of vocabulary and grammar to enhance clarity and precision. Minor grammatical errors can distract the reader and weaken the persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
Clarify the main points in each paragraph. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct point that directly relates to the overall argument of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay's main argument well.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a summarizing statement that reinforces the main points discussed.
relevant specific examples
There are several relevant and specific examples used, which help illustrate the key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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