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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages four tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #four #visit
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Recently,
due to
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 the development of the
travel
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 industry, many people are interested in various kinds of
travel
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. Not only previously well-known
travel
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 spots
such
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 as London, Tokyo or New York, nowadays people are even more interested in discovering challenging places to
trip
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such
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 as the Sahara
desert
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 or the Antarctic. There are a few benefits and disadvantages to think of. As a benefit,
first,
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we could have unique memories
unlike
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, unlike
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 most people. Since the
desert
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 is not the very most popular destination for
travelers
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travellers
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, just experiencing it makes someone’s life more variable. The more new experiences they go through give someone more stories to tell, which makes one’s
lives
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life
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 more colourful.
Secondly
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, by exploring
the
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apply
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challenging situations, we could raise our endurance
by
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during
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 the whole travelling process. We could imagine that a
trip
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 to the
desert
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 won’t be always safe and cosy, rather sometimes we might have to walk
more
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for more
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 than hours in the scorching weather. These hardships could teach us how we could handle the difficult situations of line, which helps our resilience
of
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in
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 life to grow.
On the other hand
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, there are a few disadvantages too. First of all, it is more time-consuming and more
travel
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 expenses are needed than the conventional
trip
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.
For instance
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, to get to Antarctica, we have to transfer the plane several times unlike taking the direct flight to London from where we’re living. Not only the plane but
also
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 the accommodations will be more hard to find as well. So as a traveler, extended time and expenses needed to
travel
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 could be considered as a disadvantage.
Also
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, travelling
desert
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 or Antarctic could cause a life-threatening moment for the individual, since the weather and the environment could be somehow unexpected. So after considering all these pros and cons of planning a
trip
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 for
challenging
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a challenging
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 environment, I think
travelers
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travellers
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 could enjoy their
trip
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 rather than being afraid of the new situations they might come across.
Unique
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A unique
The unique
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, special experience of one's life.
Submitted by JE on

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task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing the added expenses, you could mention specific costs such as specialized equipment needed for travel in extreme conditions.
task achievement
When discussing endurance and resilience, it would be beneficial to explain how these qualities specifically improve and relate them to everyday life examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next paragraph. For example, transition smoothly from benefits to disadvantages to maintain cohesive flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with a clear introduction that sets the context and makes the reader curious about the points to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view, encouraging travelers to embrace new experiences.
task achievement
Your points are relevant to the topic and cover both positive and negative aspects, providing a well-rounded discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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