IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THE graph bolow givas information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

THE graph bolow givas information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bolow #givas #information #tourist #arrivals #parts #world #summarise #features #comparisons
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A glance at the graph provided reveals the data about international tourist arrivals in five countries (namely, Brazil, Egypt, Malaysia, France and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
) between 1995
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident from the information provided that there was an upward trend in tourism in all nations. Of these countries, the United States of America had the most foreigners visited throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, at 70
million
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 in 1995 and increased steadily to over 90
million
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 before a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 reclination to 90
million
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. Yet, by far the most significant change to take place during
this
Linking Words
period
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 was the
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 popularity of France. Only 30
million
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 tourists arrived in France in 1995,
however
Linking Words
, by 2010
this
Linking Words
 figure had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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tripled and stood at 90
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, the same as the USA's. Foreign visitors to Malaysia, Egypt and Brazil, meanwhile,
also
Linking Words
 had been doubled. Indeed, those
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
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 Malaysia had gone up from a little over 20
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995 to approximately 50
million
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 by the end of the
period
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;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, those
arrived
Correct pronoun usage
who arrived
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 in Egypt and Brazil, which had the fewest international tourists visited, had
also
Linking Words
rose
Change the verb form
risen
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 from less than 10
million
Use synonyms
 to over 20
million
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 in a fifteen-year
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by puimei822 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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