IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the household tasks equally. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

In recent days, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a rising trend for
women
Use synonyms
 to have full-time
work
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, entering the labour market with equivalent access as
men
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. Undoubtedly, the conventional allocation of housework in which
women
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 undertake the majority of the
work
Use synonyms
 may not
work
Use synonyms
 well with “double income” families. Some people believe strongly that
both
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men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 should participate in everyday chores and contribute equally. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. On the one hand,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 is no doubt that
both
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 males and females should contribute to a family,
both
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 economically and physically. Before the
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
show examples
, males used to secure full-time jobs, undertaking the responsibility to support their families financially.
Women
Use synonyms
 took in-house chores independently and covered every duty at home.
However
Linking Words
, we now live in a modern society where
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 share an equivalent right to a job, and
both
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 are capable of earning sufficient income to make a living.
Both
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 have to commute from
work
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 to home on a daily basis, bearing the same level of stress and anxiety from
work
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as
both
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men
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 and
women
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 can contribute to the family financially, it does not make sense to allocate all physical
work
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 to
women
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 anymore.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, active participation/engagement from
both
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 mother and father sets an excellent example to children, teaching them how to cooperate with others harmoniously and effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is irrational and difficult to determine equality in household tasks because people have different specialities and preferences. What is considered tough and time-consuming by a husband, may be seen as a piece of cake by a wife. In my opinion, couples should share household responsibilities, and the allocation of detailed
work
Use synonyms
 should be based on personal strengths and habits.
For example
Linking Words
, a husband who enjoys tutoring children with school
work
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 should be granted the task, and his wife can choose other tasks with which she feels comfortable. When it comes to some undecided tasks that nobody wants, it is crucial for a couple to have a talk and understand what the other party thinks before reaching/agreeing to a final decision. In essence, I believe that
both
Use synonyms
 husband and wife should participate actively in household
work
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 and make their contribution to the family, but absolute fairness is not necessary to keep the game running. After all, a couple is consisted of two partners, working jointly to live a life of happiness and self-fulfilment.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and follow it closely. This will help your reader understand your points better.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
content
You have done a good job explaining both sides of the argument clearly.
clarity
Your language is generally clear and easy to follow, making your essay accessible to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equally
  • household tasks
  • jobs
  • women
  • men
  • share
  • relationship
  • teamwork
  • chores
  • balance
  • education
  • skilled
  • contribute
  • stress
  • partners
  • strengths
  • weaknesses
  • respect
  • efficiently
  • fair division
  • mutual appreciate
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