IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The way many people interact with each other nowadays has dramatically changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected types of human relation ship? Has this been a positive or negative development?

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It is undeniable that advanced
technology
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 growing unstoppable, supporting
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people
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people's
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 lives. It is considered by many that
technology
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 causes changes
of
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in
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 interaction between
people
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. As far as I’m concerned,
technology
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do
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does
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 take a vital role and affects
to
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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people's
show examples
Use synonyms
relationship
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relationships
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 in many aspects both positive and negative effects.
To begin
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 with,
technology
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 affects
to
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apply
show examples
many types of human
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relationship
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relationships
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. Modern technologies
such
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 as
smartphone
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smartphones
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,
laptop
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laptops
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 and the internet have been playing an important role in personal life, education and business.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 use social
network
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networks
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 like Instagram and WhatsApp to keep in touch with their family and friends, to make new friends who
shar
Correct your spelling
share
 the same interests and to find a lover.
Secondly
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,
students
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 can learn from anywhere via the electrical devices that can access the internet. Internet services help
students
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 exchange,
explore
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and explore
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge wider either
search
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searching
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 for information conveniently or even participating in
the
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apply
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online classes across the country.
For example
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, during the COVID-19 outbreak in 2019, the
governments
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government
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 forced all
students
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 who
infected
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were infected
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 to
stayed
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stay
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 at home, yet
students
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 can
joined
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join
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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classes using meeting applications like Google Meets.
Finally
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,
technology
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 has been improving in business as well
especially
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, especially
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the logistic
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logistic
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logistics
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 business. Back in the day, it might
took
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take
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 a week to
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 a parcel or a letter from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 shop in
different
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a different
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 country, but now smartphones allow
people
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 to order
the
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apply
show examples
goods from another side of the world online, cashless, trackable and faster than the traditional way. I personally think that
these
Change the determiner
this technology
these technologies
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technology
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 can
be
Verb problem
have
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 both positive and negative effects
to
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on
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 use them, On the one hand, these
development
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developments
show examples
 can be extremely beneficial. It can be seen that
people
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 are able to interact promptly and conveniently
by
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through
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 calls, messages and video calls, making
people
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can
Verb problem
apply
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keep in touch and keep close
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relationship
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relationships
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 with their family, friends and
colleague
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colleagues
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 even though they do not have
physically
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physical
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conversation
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conversations
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. With these
beneficial
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benefits
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,
technology
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 not only
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
show examples
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relationship
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relationships
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 in work but
also
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 in social contexts.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 can cause negative
influence
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influences
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such
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 as isolating
people
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 and less
interact
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interaction
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 in real life. To illustrate,
people
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 who stay alone for a long time might have an awkward feeling
of
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about
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 having physical
conversation
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conversations
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 with
people
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 in
real
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the real
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 world
while
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 they can do better in
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
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 world. In conclusion, it is true that the advance of
technology
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brings
Verb problem
has
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 certainly revolutionized communication between
people
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, but at the same
time
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time,
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 it should be noted that not all of the outcomes of the
revolutionary
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revolution
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 have been positive.
Therefore
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, it is important to raise awareness to
public
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the public
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 that actual communication is far
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
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that
Correct word choice
than
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 virtual interaction and even better in maintaining the
relationship
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 between
people
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.

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task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by addressing all parts of the prompt explicitly. The essay needs to more clearly discuss both positive and negative sides of the effect of technology on human relationships.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. This will help create a more logical structure throughout the essay.
grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure. Avoid common errors like subject-verb agreement (e.g., "technology are growing", "technology do take"). Using varied sentence structures will enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-placed and contribute meaningfully to the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, including from personal experience and current events like the COVID-19 pandemic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative effects of technology on human relationships, showing a balanced perspective.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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