The way many people interact with each other nowadays has dramatically changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected types of human relation ship? Has this been a positive or negative development?
It is undeniable that advanced
technology
are
growing unstoppable, supporting Change the verb form
is
people
lives. It is considered by many that Change noun form
people's
technology
causes changes of
interaction between Change preposition
in
people
. As far as I’m concerned, technology
do
take a vital role and affects Change the verb form
does
to
Change preposition
apply
people
Change noun form
people's
relationship
in many aspects both positive and negative effects.
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
To begin
with, technology
affects to
many types of human Change preposition
apply
relationship
. Modern technologies Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
such
as smartphone
, Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
laptop
and the internet have been playing an important role in personal life, education and business. Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
Firstly
, many people
use social network
like Instagram and WhatsApp to keep in touch with their family and friends, to make new friends who Fix the agreement mistake
networks
shar
the same interests and to find a lover. Correct your spelling
share
Secondly
, students
can learn from anywhere via the electrical devices that can access the internet. Internet services help students
exchange, explore
Correct word choice
and explore
the
knowledge wider either Correct article usage
apply
search
for information conveniently or even participating in Wrong verb form
searching
the
online classes across the country. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, during the COVID-19 outbreak in 2019, the governments
forced all Fix the agreement mistake
government
students
who infected
to Add a missing verb
were infected
stayed
at home, yet Change the form of the verb
stay
students
can joined
Change the verb form
join
the
classes using meeting applications like Google Meets. Correct article usage
apply
Finally
, technology
has been improving in business as well especially
in Add the comma(s)
, especially
Correct article usage
the logistic
logistic
business. Back in the day, it might Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
took
a week to Change the verb form
take
got
a parcel or a letter from Wrong verb form
get
the
shop in Correct article usage
a
different
country, but now smartphones allow Add an article
a different
people
to order the
goods from another side of the world online, cashless, trackable and faster than the traditional way.
I personally think that Correct article usage
apply
these
Change the determiner
this technology
these technologies
technology
can be
both positive and negative effects Verb problem
have
to
Change preposition
on
who
use them, On the one hand, these Correct pronoun usage
those who
development
can be extremely beneficial. It can be seen that Fix the agreement mistake
developments
people
are able to interact promptly and conveniently by
calls, messages and video calls, making Change preposition
through
people
can
keep in touch and keep close Verb problem
apply
relationship
with their family, friends and Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
colleague
even though they do not have Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
physically
Change the word
physical
conversation
. With these Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
beneficial
, Replace the word
benefits
technology
not only gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
relationship
in work but Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
also
in social contexts. On the other hand
, technology
can cause negative influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
such
as isolating people
and less interact
in real life. To illustrate, Replace the word
interaction
people
who stay alone for a long time might have an awkward feeling of
having physical Change preposition
about
conversation
with Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
people
in real
world Add an article
the real
while
they can do better in virtual
world.
In conclusion, it is true that the advance of Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
technology
brings
certainly revolutionized communication between Verb problem
has
people
, but at the same time
it should be noted that not all of the outcomes of the Add a comma
time,
revolutionary
have been positive. Replace the word
revolution
Therefore
, it is important to raise awareness to public
that actual communication is far Add an article
the public
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
that
virtual interaction and even better in maintaining the Correct word choice
than
relationship
between people
.Submitted by pnakasont on
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task achievement
Strengthen your task achievement by addressing all parts of the prompt explicitly. The essay needs to more clearly discuss both positive and negative sides of the effect of technology on human relationships.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. This will help create a more logical structure throughout the essay.
grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure. Avoid common errors like subject-verb agreement (e.g., "technology are growing", "technology do take"). Using varied sentence structures will enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-placed and contribute meaningfully to the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, including from personal experience and current events like the COVID-19 pandemic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative effects of technology on human relationships, showing a balanced perspective.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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