IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation. Write a letter to the agency to get information about accommodation. In your letter, say: why you are going to this country what kind of accommodation you want when you will arrive Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#minutes #country #year #place #agency #accommodation #information #addresses #sir #madam
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Dear Sor or Madam, I am writing to seek some assistance from your company regarding the temporary one-year accommodation. I am working as a project manager in Superstar Company in India, and planning to go to Canada to join a twelve-month training program in Business Studies and Management. Not only does
this
 program instil some essential skills but
also
 exerts a golden opportunity to get a promotion. I am planning to reside in Brampton where my training would take place, with my wife and a three-year-old kid;
therefore
, looking for a two-bedroom flat
along with
 attached washrooms.
Not to mention
, the place would be hygienic and fully furnished since we cannot purchase furniture separately.
Moreover
, it would be great if the flat would have a separate parking area, a garden and a garage.
Although
 I have not booked the tickets, certainly, we will arrive in the first week of July. As my training will be started in the second week of the respective month, I request you to find a suitable apartment for us. Should you have any queries I can be reached at my e-mail [email protected]. I am waiting for your reply. Yours faithfully, Amandeep Kaur
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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coherence cohesion
The structure of your letter is mostly clear, but be careful with minor typos such as 'Sor' instead of 'Sir.'
task achievement
The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, but ensure consistency in style throughout the letter.
task achievement
Your letter thoroughly addresses all the elements required: purpose of visit, kind of accommodation, and arrival date.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph discusses a single idea, making the letter easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Polite and clear closing, aligning well with the formal nature of the letter.
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