'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' •To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?
In the current era of society, the role of social
media
is indispensable and the people who do not use it,
may face dire Remove the comma
apply
consequence
in the form of the growth of their professions. I strongly agree with Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
this
statement because without social media
usage, individuals may not able
to present their abilities and they may not access the data of a wide area of market. Add a missing verb
be able
This
essay will delve deeper into these points in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, there are multifarious reasons why it is essential to use social media
platforms. Primarily, if individuals want to present their abilities to the world, they can make pages on social websites. For example
, a painstaking survey conducted by The Guardian Newspaper in March 2015, published that no sooner did professionals make their profile with their pragmatic visual and pictorial experiences on facebook
and Capitalize word
Facebook
twitter
than they got numerous job invitations from international companies. Capitalize word
Twitter
This
is because nowadays even most of
Change preposition
apply
the
job consultants require Correct article usage
apply
such
social media
accounts to add in
job Change preposition
to in
profile
, which can help Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
the
companies Correct article usage
apply
to
find Verb problem
apply
out
the most potential workers. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, the absence of a better social media
profile can be perilous to grab the zenith of professional
career.
Correct article usage
a professional
Furthermore
, a
benefit of social networking apps for accessing wide area market data can never be undermined. To elucidate, if professionals Correct article usage
the
has
a high aspiration for their development, they may require more details of international demand and supply trends Change the verb form
have
as well as
the technological changes. To exemplify, World Trade Oraganization
, a Correct your spelling
Organization
UK based
department, stated in its annual report in May 2018 that 45% of professionals had been occupying more jobs than others since they started using social communication websites for gathering advanced knowledge. Add a hyphen
UK-based
This
is clear that they update their skills by checking these networks timely and acquire
a great knowledge of Wrong verb form
acquiring
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
demand
. Fix the agreement mistake
demands
Thus
, those people who do not try using such
effective
method, Correct article usage
an effective
they
may have to satisfy themselves Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
Change preposition
with
the
lower rate of professional growth.
Correct article usage
a
To conclude
, it is unequivocal that without the usage of social
web, not only can individuals not present themselves in a distinctive way, but they Add an article
the social
also
can not get the required information of
current market trends to gear up their professional growth.Change preposition
on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay could benefit from varying sentence structures to enhance readability and maintain reader interest. Consider using a mix of complex and simple sentences.
Task Achievement
There are a few minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. Proofreading for grammar and clarity can help improve this.
Task Achievement
Add a few more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments and create a more compelling essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents a clear stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
The inclusion of examples, such as the survey by The Guardian and the report by the World Trade Organization, helps to support the main points.