Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion that
children
benefit more if they read
books
rather than playing video
games
or watching
TV
programs. Personally, I disagree with
this
view, for these activities allow
children
to gain different skills and broaden their understanding of different aspects of life. There are good reasons to say that reading
stories
is more beneficial to
children
than playing computer
games
or watching
TV
. The key reason is that reading undoubtedly helps
children
enrich their vocabulary, which, in turn, enhances their ability to absorb knowledge.
As a result
, they are likely to have a strong academic performance in the future.
In addition
, reading
books
allows
children
to have better imagination since they have to conjure up images on their own when they read, say. a story.
This
can boost their creativity, which is a buffer against unemployment in today's workplace, where automation is terminating countless jobs in various industries. There are stronger reasons to argue that reading
stories
is not necessarily better than gaming or watching
TV
. The most important reason is that when
children
play computer
games
, they need to constantly think of strategies to win.
This
has a positive impact on their decision-making skills.
Furthermore
, since most programs on
TV
confer certain educational values,
children
can learn that which is not featured in
children
's
stories
.
For example
, by watching a documentary called ‘The Planet Earth', viewers can have intimate knowledge about how wild animals live and hunt and how we are polluting the environment. These things are rarely included in any
stories
found in
children
's
books
. In conclusion, I disagree with the idea that reading
books
is better for
children
than playing computer
games
or watching
TV
.
This
is because each of these pastimes teaches
children
different important skills and areas of knowledge.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
Well done on presenting a clear and comprehensive response to the task prompt. All points in your essay are relevant, and you have effectively addressed the topic by discussing the pros and cons of reading versus watching TV and playing computer games. However, further enhancing the clarity of your ideas would help improve the fluency and coherence of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, consider using more varied and sophisticated transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas from one point to the next. This will help readers navigate your reasoning more effortlessly.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments and provide a clear standpoint.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with specific examples, which strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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