Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?
A number of young generation have dedicated their
time
to Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
more than any kind of sports or exercise. From my point of view, Use synonyms
this
has both positive and negative impacts on development. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will elaborate my opinion on both sides in the following paragraphs.
Linking Words
To begin
with, The detrimental effect, because of technological advancement is that many parents can provide many kinds of Linking Words
computer
tools for their children. Use synonyms
This
causes almost all students to have computers to use. In fact, nowadays Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
have become addictive things that a multitude of young children sacrifice their Use synonyms
time
to attach to them. Use synonyms
This
is becoming a huge problem for youngsters and families. The children are addicted to Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
which makes them lose the opportunity in order to do other good activities Use synonyms
such
as sports or every kind of exercise.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, numerous young students spend more Linking Words
time
with Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
because it is easier to persuade them than sports. Use synonyms
In addition
, there is a positive impact from playing laptop Linking Words
games
. We can not deny that, we live in a digital era and computers have been more influential in our society. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the Linking Words
computer
has to play an important role in the employment market. Use synonyms
Computer
information has become an important skill that creates plenty of chances for a new generation to get a career which they would like to do in the future
In conclusion, a lot of the young generation dedicated their Use synonyms
time
to Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
because it is easy to motivate them more than any kind of sport. Use synonyms
However
, there are both positive and negative impacts. On the bad side are they more likely to lose the opportunity to do other good activities. Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
will provide them an excellent ability which has more advantages in the digital era.Use synonyms
Submitted by mahawichet on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents an attempt to organize ideas and arguments logically, but with occasional lapses, which could be improved with more thoughtful paragraphing and clearer transitions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they fail to clearly introduce the main idea and provide a strong final brooding on the topic, respectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are there, but supporting details are limited. The response needs more elaboration and stronger examples for a more developed argument.
task achievement
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Ideas are clearly laid out, yet they need to be expressed more comprehensively with additional explanations for the reasons and results of the phenomena described.
task achievement
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