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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

bar chart below show the huors per week teenagers spend on activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

bar chart below show the huors per week teenagers spend on activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007
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This
Linking Words
 graphic illustrates the time consumed by adolescents in the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per week doing various activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the moments spent watching television, shopping and going to pubs inclined
whereas
Linking Words
 teenagers showed less interest in doing homework,playing sports and bowling.
However
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, attention to watching DVDs remained the same despite some fluctuations. Watching screen was the most common leisure activity throughout, requiring an average of 25
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 2002.
This
Linking Words
 number rose dramatically to 36 in 2007.
Similarly
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, discos
although
Linking Words
 less prevalent among youth in 2002 with just 7
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2002, after remaining relatively steady till 2006 climbed abruptly in 2007 to 17
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.Shopping ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, demonstrated a gradual rise from 6 to 15
hours
Use synonyms
 over 6 years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the duration of doing homework dropped to half of its value in 2002 and that of games was reduced to one-third in 2007.
While
Linking Words
 bowling was the least popular activity throughout the tenure consuming less than 3
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly,DVD-watching time remained fairly static at 10
hours
Use synonyms
 with moderate fluctuations in between.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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