It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In every aspect of life, people will be pushed to take risks, at all times.
Although
,
the unpleasant results might sometimes come when taking Remove the comma
apply
a
opportunity, I believe that being a Change the article
an
risk
taker brings positive outcomes, knowing that the disadvantages could be hindered.
First and foremost, there is no guarantee over someone's future. We will never know the what future might bring us,
if we do not have the courage to take a Remove the comma
apply
risk
. Risking ourselves to go
study abroad in Verb problem
apply
unknown
country, is one example. We will not know that we have hidden survivor talent, an adaptive person, a well-spoken individualAdd an article
an unknown
,
if we do not Remove the comma
apply
risk
our bravery. Moreover
, as people often say, "high risk
high return". We cannot sacrifice a small bet and wish for extravagant output. For example
, putting yourself on a challenging project usually offers you a better acknowledgement in a career.
On the other hand
, any risk
taken also
comes with a negative possibility, called failure. Some people cannot bear with it, thus
, they become risk
-averse. For instance
, making a deal on a business agreement, but unfortunately, it inflicted a serious downfall for the business itself. However
, the rate of failure in taking risks can be lessened by performing a thorough measurement and assessment before coming to a decision.
To conclude
, even though a failure might be tagged along when taking a risk
, a
proper approaches are applicable to decrease the probability of Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
the
bad things happening. Risks are there to be assessed and taken, Correct article usage
apply
thus
we can reach maximum outcomes both in our personal and professional lives.Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay presents a good understanding of the importance of taking risks and generally addresses both sides of the argument. However, it could benefit from more thorough and detailed analysis of the disadvantages of taking risks. Illustrating with specific examples and evidence would strengthen this point.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the response well. Good logical flow is maintained throughout the essay. However, there are occasional lapses in coherence and minor grammatical inaccuracies which can sometimes hinder the readability. Focus on polishing sentence structures and diversifying expressions.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but some points, such as hidden talents or the concept of 'high risk high return,' could be elaborated further with specific examples. Adding more relevant and concrete examples would enhance the overall argument.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the thesis and gives a good preview of what to expect in the essay. This sets a strong foundation.
coherence cohesion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reinforces the thesis, making the essay feel complete.
task achievement
Good use of phrases like 'high risk high return' and 'hidden survivor talent,' which add to the depth of the argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!