Task 2: young people often influenced in their behavior by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

There was a
controversial
Replace the word
controversy
show examples
heating up a debate over the
presure
Correct your spelling
presence
of young
people
.
While
some claim that stress has a myriad of pros, the opposite makes a statement that it has
a cons
Correct the article-noun agreement
cons
a con
show examples
.
This
essay is devoted to analyzing both sides of the aspect, followed by parallel reasons Without a shadow of a doubt, interacting with
friends
is necessary in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Interacting with
friends
helps teenagers develop essential skills
such
as communication,
cooperation
Correct word choice
and cooperation
show examples
.
Friends
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
often provide a supportive environment where individuals can learn from each other and grow together. We
also
can learn a wealth of positive things
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
our
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
while
playing with
friends
,
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on our
friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. If our mates have good
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
, we can learn from
there
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
and the reverse is true.
Thus
,
peer
pressure
can
also
have negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
. Negative
peer
pressure
can lead young
people
to engage in risky
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
,
such
as substance abuse,
excessive
Correct word choice
and excessive
show examples
alcoholic
Replace the word
alcohol
show examples
consumption. The
pressure
can create significant stress and anxiety. Young
people
might struggle with the fear of rejection.
This
stress can negatively impact mental health In conclusion, the debate over the influence of
peer
pressure
on teenagers is a complicated issue with both pros and cons.
While
peer
pressure
can help with our personality, excessive
pressure
to conform and achieve can
also
have negative
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
on young
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mental health
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
1. **Clarify and Expand Ideas**: The ideas presented need more depth. Try to provide specific examples and elaborate on each point to clearly demonstrate your argument's relevance and significance.
task achievement
2. **Develop Stronger Topic Sentences**: Each paragraph should start with a clearer topic sentence that directly relates to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
3. **Use Linkers and Transitions**: Use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' 'Therefore,') to improve the logical flow of ideas between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
1. **Introduction and Conclusion Present**: Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
2. **Relevance of Content**: Despite needing more depth, your content is relevant to the task and shows an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

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