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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010
#percentage #population #uk #amount #fruit #vegetables
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This
Linking Words
 graphic illustrates the proportion of men,
women
Use synonyms
 and children in the UK ingesting the
recommeded
Correct your spelling
recommended
 amount of fruits and vegetables in three years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
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 came out first in taking enough fruits and vegetables and the reverse was true for children. The highest figure for
women
Use synonyms
 having adequate intake was observed in 2006 at approximately one-third of
total
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the total
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,
while
Linking Words
 that for men was 28 per cent in that year. The second highest numbers for
women
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 and men were in 2010 at 27 and 24 per cent respectively.The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 proportion of ladies and gents in
this
Linking Words
 regard was seen in 2002 with
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 slightly less than those of 2010. Children
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
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 the other hand, were least likely to have sufficient healthy diet components with
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 numbers seen in 2002 at 11
percent
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per cent
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.
This
Linking Words
 figure rose slightly to peak at 16
percent
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per cent
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 in 2006 only to drop marginally again by 2 per cent in 2010.
Submitted by alishah2294 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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