It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that in the modern days social

media

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mass

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culture

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and

friends

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are the

kay

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key

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factors that impact

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apply

show examples

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children's

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child's

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evolvement.

While

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, the others

belive

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believe

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that family has a considerable role in

children

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's growth because

family

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the family

a family

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can breed their

children

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according to

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their

culture

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and traditions, in my

opinion

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opinion,

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first idea has more significant effects than families because young generation would sooner get in touch with social

media

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and their

friends

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than family. On the one hand, many parents try to behave well and have good communication with their

children

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in order to develop their

children

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as they want. Parents believe that having dinner with their

children

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or spending

tiome

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time

with them may have positive impacts on them. It can have a temporary result in

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children

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children's

show examples

treatment but these kinds of actions are not

permanently

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permanent

show examples

and do not have deep influences.

For instance

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, many Iranian parents try to have dinner with their

children

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to develop their

opinion

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opinions

show examples

and

personality

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personalities

show examples

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through

show examples

communication, but young people do not pay attention to them and they evolve their

personality

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personalities

show examples

according to

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the

mass

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culture

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Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

prents

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parents

try to develop

personality

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the personality

a personality

show examples

children

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, their effort is

teporary

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temporary

and society has the most impact on their development.

On the other hand

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, social

media

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, popular

culture

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, and

friends

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are thought to have deep impacts on

children

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evolvement

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evolution

show examples

. The majority of youngsters spend their most of

time

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with

thier

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their

friends

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due to

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they have more common in comparison with family.

In addition

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, they would rather treat based on trends and

mass

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culture

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in order to show they are up to date.

Moreover

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, not only do they follow

mass

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culture

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and spend

time

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with their

friends

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, but

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also

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they also

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the

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apply

show examples

spend most of their

time

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on social

media

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that

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which

show examples

many young people try to think

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of as

show examples

the same as influencers.

For example

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, Iranian young people do different activities that become

trend

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trends

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

Instagram and TikTok

media

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even

they

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apply

show examples

start some

business

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businesses

show examples

that influencers advertise. In point of my view, young individuals develop themselves

according to

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the

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apply

show examples

society

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societal

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trends and they are impacted by their

friends

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and

media

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more than

family

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by family

show examples

. In conclusion,

however

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, families try to impact

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apply

show examples

their

children

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and breed them based on traditions, their

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impacts

imacts

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impacts

are minor and these are not

deeply

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deep

show examples

and

permanently

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permanent

show examples

furthermore

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, youngsters would rather pay attention to the

mass

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culture

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media

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and their

friends

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because they find more common,

as a result

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, they spend more

time

Use synonyms

with them than their family

hadadianmohamadhosseinSat May 25 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure to structure your essay more clearly. Use separate paragraphs for each point to make it easier to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Proofread your essay to avoid grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.

Task Achievement

Use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition. For instance, the word 'influences' was repeated; try using synonyms to vary your language.

Task Achievement

While you have included examples, they can be more relevant and specific to better support your points.

Task Achievement

The essay clearly addresses both views on the topic and offers a concluding opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction presents the main topic and different viewpoints effectively.

Task Achievement

Your essay includes several relevant points and attempts to support them with examples.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

412 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence
development
media
pop culture
peers
family
social skills
beliefs
values
emotional support
moral guidance
aspirations
self-image
social development
value system
harmony
conflict
significant
behaviors

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It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Word Count

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Topic: many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Write a letter to your local council that the road in front of your house is damaged. In your letter, you should: tell him your name and where you are living describe the problem suggest what you want him to do for it.