In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past . Do you think the advandtages outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent
time
, the age gap between families' generations has expanded more than it used to be in the past. Fix the agreement mistake
times
This
writer argues the benefits of bringing comprehensive development and improving practical skills outweigh the drawback
of misunderstanding.
The most advantageous factor of a wide gap is that Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
children
gain opportunities in education and development. This
is because,
adults have more time to earn money which Remove the comma
apply
support
them become financially independent. From prior knowledge, couples in Japan and China decide to have babies after their income is stable. Change the verb form
supports
Thus
, children
can receive high quality in their lives, including education and entertainment.
Reality experience is another point worth consideration
. It must be recognized that aged Replace the word
considering
parents
are more mature experienced
so they can educate their Correct word choice
and experienced
children
some
useful Change preposition
on some
capability
Fix the agreement mistake
capabilities
such
as management skill
, Fix the agreement mistake
skills
communicating
or leadership Replace the word
communication
skill
. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
As a result
, when children
grow up and go to work, they can easily adapt to the work environment.
Some people, however
, considered
that a great gap leads to the difference in thinking between adults and teenagers. They believed that Wrong verb form
consider
chilren
feel uncomfortable Correct your spelling
children
to share
problems with their age Change the verb form
sharing
parents
because
Add the preposition
because of
the
Change the word
their
difference
life Replace the word
different
perspective
. Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
This
may be true, but by exploring and understanding, parents
can communicate with children
to solve the difficulties and be closer together.
Thus
, the loss of understanding is outweighed by sustainable development and practical skills. Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that wide
difference in age is beneficial for Correct article usage
a wide
parents
and teenagers.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt adequately, and you provide a clear position on the topic. However, try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, ensure that your points are fully developed and connected. Sometimes, the ideas can feel a bit underdeveloped. Adding more detailed explanations and transitions between ideas would improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Proofreading your essay can help catch these errors and improve clarity.
task response
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which makes it easy for the reader to understand your argument from the start.
coherence cohesion
You effectively include a conclusion that summarizes your main points, which helps to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs that each address a single main point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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