It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote areas with natural environments, such as the South Pole. Is this a positive or negative development?

Given the availability of modern means of transport
such
as planes and
cruiseships
Correct your spelling
cruise ships
, and refrigeration technologies,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to remote parts of the
world
is no longer an impossible task. I believe that
this
possibility benefits both tourists and scientists. Exploring far-flung natural places can be beneficial to
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
. No matter how many tourist attractions are there in the
world
, globetrotters all around the
world
still crave novelty,
for example
in the form of new activities or untouched destinations. By
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to an island
that is
unknown to the vast majority of people,
for instance
,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
may have a chance to participate in exotic religious practices of indigenous people, feast their eyes on rarely seen plants and animals
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
try new food and experience a whole new way of life.
Although
it is true that they can see these things on TV channels dedicated to travel, the experience is far inferior to experiencing
such
activities in person. Scientists can
also
benefit from visiting untouched parts of the
world
. Regardless of how much we already know about the
world
, there is still much
that is
unknown in the
world
of science and visiting
such
places could give scientists answers to many existing and future problems. We can see
this
in the way novel viruses break out every once in a
while
, and how global warming is affecting
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
and habitats of elusive animals living in heavily wooded areas and deep under the sea. If we understand more about
such
phenomena, we will be much more prepared for potential outbreaks that could kill millions in the future and help restore damaged habitats. In conclusion, visiting remote areas of the
world
can impart
otherwise
unachievable
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and lessons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
tourists and people in the scientific
world
.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance the clarity of your argument, it might be useful to include a counter-argument to show that you have considered other perspectives. While your essay is already strong, acknowledging and refuting an opposing view could make it even more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay flows well and follows a logical structure. However, transitions between paragraphs can be made smoother by using more varied phrases such as "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Moreover." This will enrich the reading experience.
Introduction/Conclusion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay effectively. This helps the reader understand your main points easily.
Supported Main Points
The essay includes well-supported main points, with specific examples like exploring specific destinations or the relevance to scientific research. This strengthens your argument and makes it more compelling.
Logical Structure
Your logical structure is sound; each paragraph is dedicated to a single idea, which makes your essay easy to follow.

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