IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Bar chart the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries in 2017.

#bar #amount #tea #coffee #four #countries
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The provided bar chart illustrates the
number
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 (tonnes) of
tea
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 and
coffe
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coffee
 imported by four nations namely Canada,
The
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apply
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Britain, The
Usa
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US
, and
Germany
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 in 2017.
Overall
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, it is clearly observed that the
number
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 of
tea
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 in the UK was the biggest among nations.
In addition
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,
Germany
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 had the largest
number
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 of
coffee
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.
To begin
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 with, the UK and the
Usa
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US
 had the
number
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 of
tea
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 compared to the
number
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 of
coffee
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. As data shows the UK
tea
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’s
number
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 had a
fourthfold
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fourth fold
fourfold
 from
coffe
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coffee
 which was 20000 tonnes.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the USA
tea
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’s
number
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 had a doublefold from
coffee
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 which was 40000 tonnes.
Next,
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according to
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 the data on the
number
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 of
coffee
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,
the
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apply
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Canada and
the
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apply
show examples
Germany
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 had the total bigger
tea
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 rather than the total of
coffee
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 during the same time frame.
For example
Linking Words
, the
canada
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Canada
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coffe’s
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coffee’s
 total had a
doublefold
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double fold
double-fold
 from the
number
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 of
tea
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 which was 20000 tones.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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Germany
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 had a deviation trend in
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 and
tea
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 which was 40100 and 20000 tones respectively.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and inconsistencies in the use of articles ('the UK', 'the US', 'the UK'). Consistent and accurate use will help with clarity.
vocabulary
Use varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly saying 'number of tea' or 'number of coffee,' you can say 'amount of tea' or 'quantity of coffee.'
task achievement
Provide a more detailed and insightful comparison between the countries to enrich your Task Achievement. Instead of repeating similar structures, try to highlight unique aspects or interesting observations in the data.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for the data discussion, which is great for the reader's understanding.
data analysis
You have correctly identified and compared key figures and trends from the bar chart, covering all countries mentioned.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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