Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.
Nowadays, some people think that having a family
party
is compulsory as it is a form of gratitude because they have already achieved the milestone they wished for. Meanwhile, others believe that family celebration is not necessary since it is usually associated with luxuriousness. Use synonyms
As a result
, too much Linking Words
money
will be wasted because of it. I argue that nothing is wrong with celebrating an event, but it is better for a family to save their Use synonyms
money
in case there are some incidental needs in the future. A Use synonyms
further
explanation of both views regarding Linking Words
this
issue will be presented below.
Linking Words
Firstly
, people are more likely to celebrate a moment that marks a particular point they have reached in their lives, Linking Words
such
as a birthday or wedding anniversary. Some of them like to have that occasion to be recognized by others. Linking Words
Therefore
, they hold a Linking Words
party
in a five-star hotel, Use synonyms
for instance
, which definitely costs Linking Words
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
dollars
. Change preposition
of dollars
In addition
, they Linking Words
also
need to prepare the souvenirs for those who come. Linking Words
Instead
of having a humble Linking Words
party
, they choose to have a festive one. In fact, having a small-scale Use synonyms
party
is pretty much better because it will be more intimate and it still conveys how grateful they are to be blessed for what they have gotten.
Use synonyms
However
, a better option Linking Words
above all
is to save Linking Words
money
because we do not even know what the future holds. Use synonyms
For example
, a family must save Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
money
to prepare the tuition fees for their children because it might be very high in the future. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, if they need to refresh their mind, they can have a vacation, which the budget Linking Words
also
Linking Words
need
to be allocated. Meanwhile, no one ever Change the verb form
needs
know
we might suffer from illness years from now. Change the verb form
knows
This
is Linking Words
also
need to be paid attention.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
some people believe that there is a must to have a family celebration, if it can be replaced with another important occasion, it will be better. Linking Words
Thus
, much Linking Words
money
will be saved.Use synonyms
Submitted by srsdy008 on
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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will help to clearly support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with appropriate evidence. For example, explain more thoroughly why small-scale parties can be more intimate or better than large, extravagant ones.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use linking phrases more effectively, ensuring smooth transitions between points and ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate and varied, which helps to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, contributing to the overall coherence.