Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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Nowadays, some people think that having a family
party
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is compulsory as it is a form of gratitude because they have already achieved the milestone they wished for. Meanwhile, others believe that family celebration is not necessary since it is usually associated with luxuriousness.
As a result
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, too much
money
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will be wasted because of it. I argue that nothing is wrong with celebrating an event, but it is better for a family to save their
money
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in case there are some incidental needs in the future. A
further
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explanation of both views regarding
this
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issue will be presented below.
Firstly
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, people are more likely to celebrate a moment that marks a particular point they have reached in their lives,
such
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as a birthday or wedding anniversary. Some of them like to have that occasion to be recognized by others.
Therefore
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, they hold a
party
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in a five-star hotel,
for instance
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, which definitely costs
million
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millions
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dollars
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of dollars
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.
In addition
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, they
also
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need to prepare the souvenirs for those who come.
Instead
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of having a humble
party
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, they choose to have a festive one. In fact, having a small-scale
party
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is pretty much better because it will be more intimate and it still conveys how grateful they are to be blessed for what they have gotten.
However
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, a better option
above all
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is to save
money
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because we do not even know what the future holds.
For example
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, a family must save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
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to prepare the tuition fees for their children because it might be very high in the future.
On the other hand
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, if they need to refresh their mind, they can have a vacation, which the budget
also
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need
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needs
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to be allocated. Meanwhile, no one ever
know
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knows
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we might suffer from illness years from now.
This
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is
also
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need to be paid attention. In conclusion,
although
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some people believe that there is a must to have a family celebration, if it can be replaced with another important occasion, it will be better.
Thus
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, much
money
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will be saved.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will help to clearly support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with appropriate evidence. For example, explain more thoroughly why small-scale parties can be more intimate or better than large, extravagant ones.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use linking phrases more effectively, ensuring smooth transitions between points and ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate and varied, which helps to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, contributing to the overall coherence.
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