Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.
Nowadays, some people think that having a family
party
is compulsory as it is a form of gratitude because they have already achieved the milestone they wished for. Meanwhile, others believe that family celebration is not necessary since it is usually associated with luxuriousness. As a result
, too much money
will be wasted because of it. I argue that nothing is wrong with celebrating an event, but it is better for a family to save their money
in case there are some incidental needs in the future. A further
explanation of both views regarding this
issue will be presented below.
Firstly
, people are more likely to celebrate a moment that marks a particular point they have reached in their lives, such
as a birthday or wedding anniversary. Some of them like to have that occasion to be recognized by others. Therefore
, they hold a party
in a five-star hotel, for instance
, which definitely costs million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
dollars
. Change preposition
of dollars
In addition
, they also
need to prepare the souvenirs for those who come. Instead
of having a humble party
, they choose to have a festive one. In fact, having a small-scale party
is pretty much better because it will be more intimate and it still conveys how grateful they are to be blessed for what they have gotten.
However
, a better option above all
is to save money
because we do not even know what the future holds. For example
, a family must save the
Correct article usage
apply
money
to prepare the tuition fees for their children because it might be very high in the future. On the other hand
, if they need to refresh their mind, they can have a vacation, which the budget also
need
to be allocated. Meanwhile, no one ever Change the verb form
needs
know
we might suffer from illness years from now. Change the verb form
knows
This
is also
need to be paid attention.
In conclusion, although
some people believe that there is a must to have a family celebration, if it can be replaced with another important occasion, it will be better. Thus
, much money
will be saved.Submitted by srsdy008 on
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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will help to clearly support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with appropriate evidence. For example, explain more thoroughly why small-scale parties can be more intimate or better than large, extravagant ones.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use linking phrases more effectively, ensuring smooth transitions between points and ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate and varied, which helps to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, contributing to the overall coherence.
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