IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter, describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do

#shop #company #equipment #work
I am writing
this
 letter with regard to a
complain
Replace the word
complaint
show examples
 about the equipment, which I bought
last
 week from your shop.
To begin
 with, I showed that there were offers going at your venture for Christmas, so I decided to buy a microwave from your venture and when I turned it on the first time at home it wasn't working because of some internal issues,which I couldn't identify.
In addition
, my primary purpose for buying
this
 equipment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is that I am a working person and regularly I work till night and I have to microwave the food ,which I already prepared in the morning and now I have to eat a cold lunch , which is not acceptable for me. I am sincerely requesting you to replace
this
 faulty machine or else repair it , so I can use it on a daily basis. I heard about positive responses from your customer services and now it's my time to experience
this
. Please look forward to my complaint. Yours sincerely,
Submitted by pp6859 on

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coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that outlines the purpose of the letter. This will improve the clarity and logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different points. For example, the paragraph about the problem could be separate from the paragraph explaining how it's affecting your work.
task achievement
Review grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better readability. For example, replace 'showed' with 'saw' in 'I showed that there were offers'.
task achievement
Ensure the writing tone remains formal and polite throughout. For example, use 'I noticed' instead of 'I showed'.
coherence cohesion
The closing is appropriate and polite, creating a good impression.
task achievement
The letter covers all required points: description of the problem, its effect on work, and what you want the company to do.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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