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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students

The charts below give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students
The charts illustrate the information about the diet and general health of
students
Use synonyms
 in two groups. The information was given in two formats:
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of charts and
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 in a comparing form.
Overall
Linking Words
, the numbers which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been shown by the percentage gives us
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to get detailed information about the eating habits and physical conditions of two different groups. Cereals and food with a
high fat
Add a hyphen
high-fat
show examples
 content are the most consuming products for the
students
Use synonyms
 of
group
Use synonyms
 A. They consume more than a
third
Use synonyms
cereals
Change preposition
of cereals
show examples
less
Correct word choice
and less
show examples
 than a
third
Use synonyms
charcuterie
Change preposition
of charcuterie
show examples
. The proportion of cereal
Use synonyms
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 in twenty
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 more than food with a high fat content. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
Use synonyms
 place comes vegetables with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
students
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 A do not prefer eating fish and fruit.
Linking Words
Due
Change preposition
According
show examples
 to
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 the requirement
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fish and fruit just is made up of
one
Use synonyms
 in twenty. Containing half proportion of
eating
Correct article usage
the eating
show examples
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
 of the
students
Use synonyms
 of
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 are more overweight than the other
group
Use synonyms
. Cereals are ranked second with more than a
third
Use synonyms
 percentage.
Heathy
Correct your spelling
Healthy
show examples
 products
such
Linking Words
 as fish, vegetables and fruit include
one
Use synonyms
 in twenty for the
students
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
According
Add the preposition
According to
show examples
 the table the
students
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 A are less fat. The attendance at classes is higher than
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
. The
students
Use synonyms
 are healthier than the other
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. A very small number student of the
Use synonyms
group
Capitalize word
Group
show examples
 A could not attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class
for
Change preposition
because of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illness in the past,
whereas
Linking Words
 a minority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 were ill.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, group, third, one, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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