In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for 2 developments? In your opinion, which is better.

In recent years,
individuals
have switched from
cars
to
bicycles
in some metropolitan areas,
while
in other ones,
bicycles
have been the better option. The writer argues that
people
show more interest in
bicycles
due to
the positive effect on health conditions and environmental conservation,
although
many believe that
cars
bring more benefits because of the ability to
travel
for long distances. It is crucial to understand that
bicycles
can enhance physical fitness. To explain in more detail, cycling activities require
people
to use their strength
as well as
muscles to control
this
vehicle for the purpose of transporting. Indeed, using
bicycles
as a main transport on a daily basis might improve the cardiovascular system
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and lower blood pressure.
This
point leads
individuals
to avoid many problems associated with health. Consider the Netherlands as a prime example, where most citizens ride a bike for travelling, it is witnessed that there has been an incidence of heart disease and stroke in Dutch
people
.
However
, other
people
believe that
cars
always are the priority when they
travel
.
This
is because driving is much faster than using other kinds of transportation, especially for long distances. To a certain extent,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
allow
people
to go at a high speed
as well as
the highways and expressways facilitate faster
travel
.
For
this
reason, the
time
devoted to transportation is reduced significantly, resulting in greater flexibility
time
.
For instance
, travelling between the nearby states in the USA requires a long
time
period,
therefore
,
cars
are the most popular option for Americans to save
time
, it is reported that over 90% of vehicles. The writer’s perspective is that
individuals
should use
bicycles
to
travel
each day in order to alleviate environmental issues. To clarify
this
point, many problems related to the environment stem from emissions, the majority of them come from combustion of the car engines.
In contrast
to
cars
,
bicycles
do not emit carbon footprint to harm the atmosphere.
Consequently
, on the condition that
people
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
bicycles
instead
of
cars
for transportation, it would reduce the level of air pollution. Amsterdam is the first city to encourage citizens to commute by bicycle and the rate of air pollution in
this
city is much lower compared to other commercial hubs. In conclusion, using
bicycles
and
cars
has its benefits,
bicycles
help avoid health risks and
cars
provide
individuals
the ability to
travel
long distances over shorter periods.
Hence
, the writer emphasizes that
people
should use bikes to transport with the purpose of protecting the environment.
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coherence cohesion
While the essay clearly addresses the task and presents a well-rounded discussion, focusing more on the interplay between health, environmental concerns, and the need for speed in long-distance travel would strengthen cohesiveness.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Expand the discussion on the negative effects of cars on the environment, including more specific details and examples.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
Main points are well-illustrated with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, providing a clear context and final opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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